


With Every Beat Of My Heart

by BabyBoomBoom0029



Series: On Your Side: The Chronicles of Danny and Linda Reagan [14]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Angst, Danny Whump, Drama, Erin gets in trouble, F/M, Family, Love, Newbie in the character line up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10938486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyBoomBoom0029/pseuds/BabyBoomBoom0029
Summary: Detective Danny Reagan knew he'd love Linda Reagan for the rest of his life. He loved her with every breath, with every heartbeat. Every moment he spent wth her made his heart fill with love. She was the light in the darkness of his life. Danny always thought he was prepared for anything. But the one thing he never anticipated was the day he stopped breathing. The day his heartbeat stilled. The day the world went dark.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, yet again, I'm back with another story. :) I'm hoping you all enjoy this one just as much as the rest of them! I can't wait to hear what you all think! :)

Linda Reagan looked around the unfamiliar room. It was cold and dark. The hardwood floors had water stains in the corner, and scuff marks from one end to the other as if someone tried to push something heavy across the floor. Linda tried to move only to realize she was tied up. Thick heavy ropes dug into her wrists and ankles. The rope was knotted all around her keeping her pinned to the heavy bedframe behind her. Linda tilted her head trying to see as much of the room as she could. Off in the corner was a dirty towel thrown on the floor. She shuddered when she saw the dark red spots on the blanket. She knew it was dried blood. Linda didn't remember how she got in the room. Or how she was naked. Or how someone had tied her up. Her body ached everywhere. She was fighting to stay awake. Her chest felt like it was being crushed. Linda faded in and out of consciousness. She heard crackling on the other side of a door she hadn't noticed before. When she woke up again she was lying on the bed, spread eagle. Her arms and legs tied to each post keeping her legs and arms spread apart. She gasped when she felt someone run their hand over her body. Linda tried to see what the man looked like but it was almost as if he had no face. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with her vision and why she couldn't see properly.

"No." She started to cry, "No. Please. Don't hurt me." Linda wiggled trying to get away from the man. Her resistance was useless. Even if she managed to get him to stop touching her, she was still tied up. The room started to fill with hot air. Linda felt herself choking on the thick air, "No. Stop. No. No. Oh God No." Linda realized the man was naked as he touched her, "No! Help! No! Stop! Don't touch me!" Linda started to panic. She felt the man push inside her, "NO! STOP! STOP! OH GOD! NO!" She screamed loudly. Linda closed her eyes tight as she sobbed, "NO!" Linda felt the man's lips against her skin, "NO! NO!" When she opened her eyes she saw flames engulfing the room around her while the man continued to rape her. There was no way out. The man smiled evilly while he assaulted Linda, not caring about her protests or the fire. The flames grew closer to Linda as she lay still on the bed. She screamed as her body burned.

* * *

 Linda shot up in bed so fast it startled her husband who had been trying to wake her up from her nightmare for the last five minutes. Her heart practically jumping out of her chest and tears flowing down her cheeks. Linda gasped for air. She placed a hand over her heart in an attempt to ground herself and stop a panic attack.

"Linda? Babe?" Danny shifted so he was in front of her.

Linda hung her head and breathed deeply, "Oh God." She breathed.

"You're okay. It's alright." Danny said softly.

"Danny." Linda wiped her eyes. Her heart rate and breathing starting to return to normal, "Oh my God, Danny."

"That nightmare again?" He sat still as Linda shifted into his arms, practically placing herself in his lap.

Linda nodded her head, "I woke up when the fire touched me again." Linda said. The nightmare had been reoccurring since Linda and Danny were trapped in the club fire a couple months ago. Summer was quickly approaching as was Jack's last year at NYU. Linda had to come to accept the fact that after he graduated, Sean was planning on enrolling in the NYPD police academy. Just like the rest of the Reagan men. She'd worried about him being safe. About him getting hurt on the job but it was practically a birthright for the Reagan men. She couldn't deny the fact that his blood ran just as blue as her husbands.

Danny wrapped his arms securely around his wife, "It's alright. It was just a nightmare." He felt her shaking in his arms, "You're safe. I swear you're safe."

Linda nodded her head, "I know." Linda closed her eyes for a moment trying to stop the horrible thoughts in her mind.

"Why don't we lay back down?" Danny suggested hoping that he could get Linda to fall asleep in his arms. Maybe then she'd sleep for the rest of the night.

Linda shook her head, "I can't. Not right now. I just...." She tried to think, "I need....I don't know what I need right now." Linda frowned.

"A cup of tea?" Danny asked going to the tried and true method of Mary Reagan. Sleep interruptions were always made better by a warm cup of tea with honey.

"Yeah." Linda took a deep breath, "That sounds nice." She kissed her husband's cheek, "Thank you."

Danny squeezed her tight, "I love you."

"Love you too." Linda held Danny's hand as they walked down the stairs. She sat on one of the barstools as she watched Danny fill the teapot. Once the pot was on the stove Danny walked around behind his wife wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Linda held his forearms feeling him encircle her from behind.

"Can I do anything else to make you feel better?" Danny asked softly.

Linda shook her head, "Just hold me." She replied honestly.

"That's always an easy task." Danny held Linda so close there wasn't an inch of space between him and his wife, "I'm sorry you had a nightmare." He apologized, feeling guilty for Linda's mental scars as well as some of her physical ones.

"It's not your fault. Besides, you're here when I need you. When I'm scared and jumpy from it. That's what I really need." Linda looked over her shoulder at her husband.

Danny held Linda until the teapot whistled. They sipped their tea together with Linda curled into his side on the couch. Later that night, when she'd finally fall back asleep it was with her head on his chest and his arms around her body keeping her safe from anything that could possibly harm her. Outside and inside her own mind. When Danny's phone would wake them up in a little over an hour he didn't realize the call he'd respond to was one that would turn their world around. That one critical error would set forth a chain of events that could cost him everything.


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning seemed like it was any other morning. Linda woke up with the bed empty beside her. She'd woken up while Danny was getting dressed in the middle of the night responding to a call from Beaz. Linda got Grace up and sent off to school before getting Faith and Sam up and dressed for the day. Sean stopped by to drop Charlie off. Linda played with the kids knowing that once school ended for Grace in a few weeks the house would be a lot louder. Grace always seemed to be able to get Faith and Sam to run around more than usual while Charlie tried to run after the older kids.

Linda was sitting in the playroom on her laptop while the three kids played together. She was trying to multi-task. Not only was Sean's birthday this month, Jack's was the following month with Linda's ending the month of July. Then Danny and Linda's anniversary in the beginning of August along with Grace's birthday. Summer was full for the Reagan family. So Linda carefully tracked out when to celebrate birthday's for everyone as well as trying to figure out what to do for Grace's sixth birthday. She could hardly believe that it had been six years since the little girl fell into Linda's arms at St. Vincent's. She watched at Sam built with his Duplo blocks and Faith played with a baby doll. The twins were already four years old and would start pre-school in the fall, leaving Linda alone with one-year-old Charlie five days a week until noon when it would be time to get the twins from half-day school. Linda frowned as the math counted automatically in her head. She'd be forty-two this summer. Where did the years go? Linda scrolled around the internet looking for an idea for Grace's party. Linda and Danny were still debating on how many kids to invite. Linda was thinking of just the two or three Grace played with that also lived in the neighborhood but Danny had Frank on his side saying they should invite her whole class to the house to play in the backyard. Linda's searching wandered to something to get Sean from Charlie for his birthday. She grinned when she saw a small coffee mug that said ' _Best Daddy Ever._ ' She put the mug into her shopping cart and kept looking around. Linda looked up as Sam walked over to her.

"What's that?" She pointed to Mickey Mouse on the side of the car he was holding.

"Me Mouf!" Sam tried to say Mickey Mouse.

"Good job." Linda smiled. She pulled Sam into her arms, "Go play." She kissed his cheek. Linda watched Sam toddle off happily playing with his Duplos with Charlie. Sam was helping Charlie build a tower only to have the Mickey Mouse car knock the tower down as it crashed.

Linda spent her day with the kids. She hadn't realized how late it was until she started preparing dinner. It was odd not to hear from Danny at all during the day. Especially if he left in the middle of the night. Linda checked her phone for any missed texts or calls but she'd had it with her most of the day. Nothing new had shown up. Linda frowned. It wasn't totally abnormal, especially if the case he'd caught was a big one. But it still didn't sit well with her. She carefully sliced vegetables for dinner hoping Danny would call at some point. Or she'd at least get an update when Frank got home. Linda had become accustomed to eating dinner with the kids and her father-in-law more often than with Danny. Linda watched as Sam, Faith, and Grace colored quietly at the table and Charlie sat in his high chair with a quiet toy. She didn't like the feeling she had about Danny. If it didn't go away after dinner, maybe they'd make a phone call with the excuse of the kids wanting to say goodnight to Daddy.

* * *

Danny Reagan sat at his desk in the 54th precinct waiting for TARU to finish with the laptop they'd found at the scene. When he'd arrived on the scene in the middle of the night he didn't know how this case would drag on for months almost costing him his life. He walked into the apartment complex with Beaz as they were filled in on what was going on. A woman had called nine-one-one when her husband came home drunk and started beating her. The man kept repeating that she needed to pay for what she did. When the first officers had responded the husband had already run away. They'd tried to talk to the woman but she was too shaken up to speak to anyone. Danny and Beaz were called in when the woman let the officers search the house. They'd found the husband's laptop full of searches about how to get rid of human remains and emails to another person saying things were getting to a breaking point.

Danny and Beaz got a picture on the husband and put out a BOLO for his truck. Now they were searching his phone and EZ-pass records to track him down while TARU took a closer look at the laptop. Danny smiled wide seeing Linda requesting to facetime him. He looked around not seeing an empty building sans him and Beaz before accepting the call. He smiled seeing the screen fill with his wife and kids.

"Hi, Daddy!" They all screamed at him.

"Hi. Are you all being good for Mommy today?" Danny asked.

"Yeah!" Grace giggled, "I learned about bufferfwies today!"

"Oh wow." Danny said, "That's exciting!"

"I usthed a thithers an ith a fwower for Mommy!" Sam said with his lisp. Lately, Danny and Linda had noticed Sam falling behind Faith in his speech but the doctor said it wasn't much to worry about at the moment. They'd keep an eye on it when he started preschool.

"Daddy gets Mommy flowers too." Danny told him.

"I folded da cwothes wif Mommy!" Faith loved to help with any chore around the house. She even liked going outside with her Uncle Jamie and 'working' on his car. Her favorite thing to do was help him put air in the tires at the gas station.

"You're such a good helper." Danny complimented.

"Alright, everyone say goodnight to Daddy." Linda told the three of them.

"Night Daddy!" "Love you!" "Nite nite!" They waved and blew kisses to the phone before Linda ended the call like she usually did. She only every used facetime so the kids could see Danny that day. But she always called right back to talk to Danny privately.

He answered the phone, "How was your day?" He asked.

"Busy with the kids. Did some online shopping for birthdays and found what I want for our anniversary." She smiled.

"What's that?" Danny asked, curious as to her thoughts.

"Time with you." Linda said softly.

"Well, that I can promise you. We'll have plenty of time together for what I'm planning." Danny told her.

"Planning?" Linda asked. This was the first she was hearing about Danny planning their anniversary.

"I have been known to do a thing or two for you. Something romantic and sweet." Danny grinned.

"I'll leave you to your _planning_ then." Linda said, "On another note, how's your day? Did you eat? I haven't really heard from you." Linda said.

"It's been a long day. Beaz and I have been busy. Yes. I ate." Danny had picked up all his meals on the go with Beaz while chasing after the perp during the day.

"You going to be home late?" Linda wondered. By the way, Danny sounded so tired she hoped he'd be home soon, not just because she missed him but because he sounded exhausted.

"Yeah. It will be a while." Danny told her. TARU wasn't done with the laptop and Danny couldn't just go home without trying to find this man.

"Okay. Stay safe tonight." Linda watched as the three kids started to get restless.

"I love you." Danny smiled. He missed his wife but was glad she'd called with the kids.

Linda grinned, "I love you more." 

"I love you the most." Danny said into the phone.

She sighed happily, "Come home to me." 

"Always." Danny promised. He hung up the phone and put it on his desk. He went back to looking through the file.

"Planning a romantic getaway?" Beaz teased her partner looking across the desk at him.

Danny nodded his head, "Something like that. It's twenty-four years this summer." Danny said with a large grin on his face.

"God bless Linda." Beaz snorted with laughter.

"You're not funny." Danny laughed and shook his head at his partner as they spent a few more hours going over anything that would help catch this guy. Danny and Beaz wouldn't rest until they put him behind bars.


	3. Chapter 3

As the night wore on Danny and Beaz caught a break in the case. The husband had used his real name to check into a motel. Danny and Beaz headed out to take the perp in. No one realized he wasn't mentally stable. When they parked the sedan and started to walk up the outside steps to the second level of the motel Danny and Beaz realized they had made the mistake of not bringing an ESU team with them. Although when they initially found the perp, they didn't think they'd need a whole team to take him into custody.

Danny was walking in front of Beaz both with their weapons drawn. On the other side to cut off the man's escape route were two radio officers that had called in the vehicle when the license plate hit the system. Danny knocked on the door, "POLICE! OPEN UP!" He shouted. When they received no response he banged again, "ETHAN BROOKS! OPEN UP!" Inside they heard shuffling around and glass breaking. Danny looked at the motel manager, "Open it." He said. The motel manager unlocked the door and backed away. Quite possibly the move that saved his life. The second the door was open the officers were taken by surprise when a shotgun blasted towards them hitting Danny in the center of his vest with one shot and the arm with the other shot. His knee buckled as Beaz and the other two officers opened fire. 

"REAGAN!" Beaz covered Danny so he could move away from the open door.

"Ten-thirteen! Ten-thirteen! Officer down!" Danny called it in over the radio as he tried to regain his breath that had been knocked out of him.

The man kicked the bathroom door open to use as cover as he reloaded his weapon and shot towards police again this time hitting Beaz in the side. She dropped to the ground, "SHIT!" She yelled. Danny grabbed his partner and yanked her out of the way putting her behind him. He tried to get back up but his chest burned with every breath he took. His arm was throbbing as the blood poured down. The two officers had tried their best to control the situation but Ethan Brook's knew his way around the shotgun he was using. He hit both officers with his next two shots, killing one of them instantly with a headshot and wounding the other in the shoulder. 

"We gotta get outta here!" The officer said as they were pinned down, "SPLIT!" He pointed to the two stairwells.

"C'mon Beaz!" Danny painfully stood up pulling Beaz with him. They could escape back the way they came. His chest was on fire and Beaz was losing blood faster by the second but they had no choice. They couldn't stay there.

Ethan Brooks walked closer to the officers. Danny and Beaz limped towards the stairwell. Both still holding their guns. It was the only cover they could get to. Danny turned his head seeing Ethan shoot the other officer. He hobbled with Beaz as fast as they could to get to the top step. When he finally heard more sirens. He could just see them in the distance. Danny sighed in relief but it was too soon. His world went black as he reached the top step.

Ethan shot Beaz again causing her to fall down the cement steps. He heard the sirens and saw the police cars headed for him. Ethan thought quickly grabbing Danny and knocking him out. He pulled Danny back into the room, barricading the door. The situation just went from bad to worse with Danny becoming a hostage.

* * *

Over the years, Linda had been woken up to her husband being injured and in the hospital. She'd even woken up to losing a family member or friend who also wore the uniform. But this was something she never expected to wake up to. Frank was knocking on Linda's bedroom door, calling her name.

Linda put on her glasses and walked to the door, "What is it?" She asked knowing it had to be urgent for Frank to wake her at this time of night.

"Linda." Frank sighed.

Something about the way he said her name made her stomach turn, "It's Danny. Isn't it?" Linda felt the world spin around her. This was it. This was the time she'd get the worst news imaginable.

"There's a situation." Frank put his hands on her shoulders. Her face had paled and she looked like she was ready to pass out.

"Oh my God." Linda tried to remember how to breathe, "Is he alive?"

"He's alive." Frank nodded his head, "Come downstairs and I'll explain what's going on."

"What hospital is he at?" Linda asked. This had to be serious. Frank's eyes showed fear. For him to be scared something severe had to have happened to Danny. Linda's thoughts ran wild wondering just how injured he was. Was he going to make it until she got to the hospital? Was he in a coma? If he was, would he ever wake up again? How many times was he shot? Was he stabbed? Did someone almost kill him?

"He's not at a hospital." Frank said, "Just come downstairs. Please." He asked.

Linda was completely confused, "Where is he if he's not at a hospital?" She refused to move until she knew where her husband was.

"He's been taken hostage." Frank told her.

"He what?!" Linda felt herself stop breathing, "What do you mean hostage?" Linda asked.

"Just come downstairs. I'll explain everything." Frank led Linda down the stairs. She was astounded to see Sid and Garrett standing in the kitchen.

"Linda." Sid looked at her, "He's going to be just fine."

"Oh, God. This isn't a dream." She sat at the table, "What happened?" Linda looked over at her father-in-law who handed her a glass of ice water.

"Danny and Detective Beaz responded to a call. There was no indication that the man they were going after was armed. They had a backup unit with them per protocol. But the person they went after was armed and fired on them before they could move out of the way. They fired back but the man managed to kill the two officers and wound Detective Beaz pretty bad." Frank said.

"And Danny?" Linda asked.

"He was hit but then taken back into the motel room as a hostage. The lights and sirens of responding officers spooked him." Frank said, "From what we know, Danny was hit in the chest." Linda gasped the second she heard he was shot somewhere so fatal, "But he was wearing his vest. And he was shot in the arm and that's not usually fatal alone. Although we don't know the extent of the wound and we don't know what's going on in the room. Jamie is at the scene and got the statement from Detective Beaz before sending her to the hospital. We have a negotiator there, ESU, and a team of officers working to get him out as safely as we can." Frank told her, "Sid is being sent down to stay at the scene and be my eyes and ears. I'm going to stay here with you and Garrett is staying here too. We have the house secured and I sent units to Jack's apartment, and Sean's house with strict instructions to let the boys know it's precautionary but not tell them what's going on with their father. No one needs to panic."

"You have to get him out of there." Linda felt her heart breaking hearing how her Danny was hurt, bleeding, and now being held by a man who felt nothing about killing police officers.

"I'm working on it." Frank promised. Ethan Brooks had no idea what family he was messing with when he pulled Danny into that room. He wasn't just NYPD. He was a Reagan.

 


	4. Chapter 4

When Danny woke up he felt like he was gasping for air. He could barely breathe. His chest felt like it was on fire. He assumed he had damage to his ribs again. He felt throbbing in the same spot when he'd fractured his ribs just a couple months ago. Danny saw Ethan pacing around the room. He had Danny's gun in one hand and the shotgun in another. Danny was handcuffed to the leg of the small desk that was in the room with his own handcuffs. His arm felt sticky with dried blood. He was surprised to see a crude tourniquet fashioned out of a belt and hand towel. The once white towel was now stained a deep red.

Danny heard the cops outside. He hoped they'd find an entry point. He wasn't sure he'd be able to get himself out of this alone. He wondered if he could talk Ethan down, "There's no way out." Danny spoke up, "They won't stand down with me in here."

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Ethan hit himself in the head with Danny's gun. He was in his own mind at the moment not paying the Detective any attention, "You're so stupid. Why did you do that?" He paused, "Because if you didn't do that they'd have come after you." Ethan paused again, "Well now they are outside and you can't get out of here." Danny watched as Ethan paused, spoke, paused, and spoke again. As if he was having a conversation and replying to himself, "You have the Detective. Use him." Ethan paused again, "He's useless. I say we kill him." Ethan closed his eyes and spoke again, "Not yet. No one dies yet."

"Hey!" Danny yelled, "HEY!" Danny still didn't get a response, "I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" 

Ethan whipped around, "You're awake!" He said surprised to see Danny speaking to him.

"You trying to save me or kill me?" Danny gestured to the tourniquet.

"You're of no use to me dead. Not right now at least." Ethan stated matter-of-factly.

"You know they won't let you out of here alive." Danny said, "Not unless you let me go and I walk you out." He coughed roughly. Speaking was hard for him to do while he couldn't breathe properly. His chest hurt more and more with each gasp for air.

"They'll let me out or I'll kill you." Ethan went back to pacing.

"You'd have killed me already if that was your plan. Make them think I'm alive but already have killed me." Danny shook his head, "You won't kill me."

Ethan slammed Danny's gun on the desk, "Want to wager a bet on that detective?!" He pulled the shotgun up to Danny's head pressing it between Danny's eyes.

"Then shoot me and prove me wrong." Danny was so sure the man wasn't going to pull the trigger, he pushed closer to the gun.

Ethan growled and put the gun down. Picking up Danny's again he walked back to where he was standing when Danny woke up, "How long have you been married Detective?" He asked.

"What's it to you?" Danny asked wanting to know where the man's questioning was going. He wasn't going to reveal anything that could send this maniac or someone tied to him after his wife and kids. 

"Just passing the time." Ethan shrugged. He picked up a wallet from the bed, "Has to be a long time to have this many kids. Is this one the favorite? Is that why the picture is separate? Or did she just have this one? She's pretty for having six kids. Wonder how faithful she is to you? You sure they're all yours?" Ethan rattled off questions as he flipped through the wallet. He pulled out Frank and Jamie's courtesy cards, "Huh. So being a cop is a family business? Interesting. Makes me really wonder the answer to my question. How long can a woman this beautiful stand to be around someone like you? How long have you been married to such a magnificent looking human?" Danny realized Ethan had taken his wallet. He was looking at the few pictures Danny kept in there. One of Linda, one of all his and Linda's children and one of Linda and Charlie.

"It's longer than you." Danny retorted knowing the wife had asked for a restraining order against him.

"My wife and I have been married for almost fifteen years." Ethan said, "It's amazing how someone can lie for that long."

"What did she lie about?" Danny asked hoping that by talking he could get to the bottom of this.

"Oh, no Detective. If you want to ask questions you answer mine first. How long have you been married?" Ethan asked. 

Danny weighed his options before responding, "Almost twenty-four years. Now you answer mine. That's how this works, right? What did your wife lie about?"

"She lied and said she would love me through anything. She doesn't. She doesn't like me anymore." Ethan paused, "She doesn't like us anymore."

"Us?" Danny questioned.

"Not your turn!" Ethan shouted, "It's  _our_ turn! Play by the rules!" Ethan paused, "Does your wife lie to you?"

Danny watched Ethan closely trying to figure out what was going on, "No. Not about important things. What do you mean by she doesn't like us anymore?"

"You don't get to ask about us!" Ethan pulled the trigger on the shotgun hitting Danny in the chest again. Danny coughed and gasped for air. Gurgling as he coughed up thick, dark blood, "You idiot! Look what you did!" Ethan paused, "ME!? I didn't do anything!" Ethan hit himself in the head again, "Both of you stop it! You can't kill the man just yet!" Ethan paced in a circle, "Oh shut up!"

Danny felt his chest explode in pain. His heart hammering with each passing second. The blood seeped out of the corners of his mouth as he tried but failed to breathe.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Linda Reagan knew being a cop's wife wasn't going to be easy. But when Danny joined the academy she supported him. She stood behind him. She loved him. She was proud to be a cop's wife. When he made detective she told him she was never more proud of him. She loved that he was doing something he loved and protecting not just her and his family but the City as well. She had become accustomed to hearing about him being hurt or in dangerous situations. After all, it was part of the job. But nothing was as terrifying as not knowing if he was alive in the middle of a hostage situation. The night turned to day and Linda was tasked with getting kids up and ready for the day. Sean had come by to drop Charlie off wondering what the police escort was for. Normal was a car sitting outside the house. Not following him to drop Charlie with his mom for the day. He knew something was really wrong when he got out of his car. He noticed all the police outside and inside the house.

"What's going on?" Sean asked his mother. She looked like she'd hardly slept. Bags under her red eyes made him fear the worst.

"Sean." Linda hugged him tightly, "Something happened to Dad last night."

"What?!" Sean closed his eyes tight knowing he'd lost his father.

"He's alive but he's been taken hostage and he's hurt. We know he's hurt." Linda said, "It's been going on for a few hours now."

"Seven hours in." Frank handed Linda a cup of coffee, "Why don't you stay here today and help with the kids?" Frank insisted.

"I can do that. I can babysit Grace, Faith, and Sam." Sean nodded his head, "Dad's going to be okay." He said to his Mom hoping he was right.

* * *

Danny felt like he was dying. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't couldn't speak. He could barely keep his eyes open. He gasped for air as Ethan walked around talking to himself.

"Idiot!" Ethan yelled, "You're so stupid! Why did you do that?!" He turned around, "Why?! Because I can! Because he deserves to die!" Ethan fumed, "If he dies we don't get out of here!"

Danny spat blood from his mouth, "Kill me and you'll die too." He said in a short raspy breaths.

"Don't talk about us again! Or we **will** kill you!" Ethan yelled, "Now back to our game." He switched from being angry to calm in seconds, "Do you love your wife?"

Images of Linda flashed through Danny's mind as he tried to stay awake. His lungs were filling with blood. He couldn't breathe. His heart felt like it was being ripped apart. His arm had gone numb a long time ago. He wanted to sleep. He was so tired. Danny knew the only way to survive was to stay awake, "Yes." He choked on the blood in his mouth. 

"I love my wife too. It's such a shame that they will both be widows." Ethan turned the shotgun on Danny again, "NO!" He shouted putting the gun down, "I SAID HE STAYS ALIVE!!!" Ethan hit himself in the head with his fist, "Idiot! He lives, we live!" Ethan growled at himself, "Why do you get to control what we do with him?!" Ethan walked into the bathroom taking both guns with him.

Danny prayed the NYPD would come through the door soon. He was dying and didn't know how long he had left. Danny saw the phone cord on the edge of the desk. He looked around the corner to see Ethan yelling at himself in the mirror before reaching for the phone. If he could get a call out they could get in. His hope was dashed when the phone line was cut. Ethan must have slashed it earlier. That at least explained why the hostage negotiator hadn't called yet. Danny roughly coughed, the blood was getting thicker with each a cough. He prayed Linda and the kids would be okay without him. He prayed that his father and the Reagan family would help Linda through his death. There was no way he was making it out of this. 

"THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! HE DIES!" Ethan screamed, smashing the mirror with both hands. It shattered into pieces cutting his face and arms, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!!" He threw the guns to the floor and yelled at himself.

Danny knew this was the only chance he'd be able to take. He pulled with all his might, snapping the wood leg to the desk. As the desk crashed to the floor Danny used every ounce of strength to run at Ethan.

"HOW DID YOU!?!?!?!?!" Ethan tried to defend himself but was caught off guard. Danny barreled straight into Ethan sending the two of them through the shower stall door, "NO!" Ethan punched Danny in the jaw almost knocking the Detective out. Ethan shoved Danny off him, grabbed a long sharp shard of glass from the mirror, "NOW YOU DIE!!" He stabbed the glass into Danny's thigh over and over again. Danny tried to break out of the handcuffs but they were too strong. He winced in pain as he pulled with all his might, forcibly breaking his hand and fingers to slip them out of the handcuff without opening it. Danny threw a hard punch with his good hand at Ethan's face trying to knock the psychotic man off him. Danny picked up the towel bar that had been ripped off the wall when he and Ethan went through the glass shower door. Danny swung as hard as he could hitting Ethan's head. Ethan yelled in pain but rolled off Danny. With the shard of glass still in his leg, Danny tried to crawl to where his gun lay on the floor. He just needed to get there. He just needed to get to his gun and end this once and for all. A trail of Danny's blood followed his body, leaving streaks across the tile floor. Danny put one hand on his gun but before he could turn and fire Ethan was standing over Danny holding the same towel bar. He brought it down on Danny's body repeatedly hitting him in the back. Danny tried to roll out of the way but was quickly losing consciousness. He just needed to get one shot off. That's all he needed. Danny knew he wasn't coming home. He took the last bit of strength he had and lunged for his gun.

 


	6. Chapter 6

"HE'S IN HERE!"

"OH SHIT!"

"GET THAT SON OF A BITCH OFF HIM!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY REAGAN!"

"DANNY!"

Voices swirled around through Danny's ears as he tried to open his eyes. They were so heavy he could barely keep them open. Danny felt a weight on his chest shift. It wasn't as heavy. He blacked out. Jamie ran into the room behind the ESU team, "DANNY!" He screamed again seeing the gruesome scene in front of him. Jamie knelt in Danny's blood to check for a pulse. It was barely there. Danny was fading fast, "HELP ME GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!" Jamie and a few officers grabbed Danny. As carefully as they could they brought him down to a waiting ambulance. Jamie didn't ask before climbing into the rig after his brother. He prayed he wouldn't have to be the one to tell Linda how her husband died.

"STAY WITH ME!!"

"BREATHE DAMNIT!!"

"DANNY OPEN YOUR EYES!"

"WAKE UP!"

"C'MON DANNY! DON'T DO THIS!"

"BREATHE!!"

Danny's body convulsed on the gurney as the EMTs tried to keep him alive. Jamie looked on in horror. Danny's life was barely hanging on by a thread, "HOW MUCH LONGER!?" He tried to keep his emotions in control.

"PULLING IN!" The driver yelled back. They were met by a team of doctors and nurses who swiftly rushed Danny to surgery without saying a word to Jamie. Jamie was met by Sid who had followed the ambulance while on the phone with Frank.

"Go wash up. Linda's on her way. The whole family is." Sid walked with Jamie into the emergency department.

"I don't know if he's going to make it." Jamie said honestly.

"He's too stubborn to die. He's going to be fine and back to work in a week after fighting everyone about it." Sid tried to keep high hopes, "Let's get you cleaned up."

Jamie nodded his head, letting Sid steer him to the restroom before the family showed up.

* * *

Linda was sitting on the couch trying to keep her thoughts positive. They hadn't heard much news which Frank kept saying was good. No news was better than bad news. When his phone rang Linda watched his face fall. She could see him try to keep his composure while he listened. Frank hung up without a word to whoever he just talked to. Linda shook in fear when Frank sat beside her on the couch and took her hand, "Danny's headed to the hospital. Jamie is with him."

"How bad is it Frank?" Linda asked knowing it was really bad.

"They don't know if he will make it to the hospital." Frank said honestly. His eyes shined with unshed tears as he explained what had happened then they went in to get Danny. According to Frank, it was the gunshots that ultimately made ESU break the door down. Danny had gotten one shot off in his gun before passing out. Ethan was hit and fell on top of Danny crushing his ribs and lungs.

Linda covered her mouth, "Oh God." She felt hot tears slide down her cheeks, "We need to get there. I need to see him." Linda cried.

"We're all going." Frank led Linda outside letting another team of officers help gather the small children and Sean, while Jack was picked up and driven by NYPD that was watching over him. Erin and Nicky were called to go to the hospital as soon as they could as well.

Linda cried the whole way there. She knew that once they got in the waiting room she was going to have to remain strong for her children, but she could be weak in the car with her father-in-law who let her cry on his shoulder.

Frank and Linda were the first to arrive at the hospital. She walked over to Jamie who was standing beside Sid, "Oh God." Linda gasped hugging her brother-in-law tightly. The hostpial was filled with officers waiting to hear the word on Detective Reagan. Linda sat in a chair with her head in her hands praying her husband would survive.

When surgery passed the three-hour mark Linda was growing more nervous. She hadn't moved a muscle since she'd gotten there. A doctor had come out to talk to her about his injuries a while ago. But they were still working on him. They were still trying to save his life. They believe that when he was shot the first time his ribs re-fractured with one of them puncturing his lung. The second time he was shot broke the bone in two places causing it to puncture the lung a second time. His wrist had been broken when he ripped it through the handcuff along with his thumb and two fingers on his right hand. The bullet in his arm had passed through leaving a mess behind but no bullet. The stab wounds were deep but didn't cause much actual damage and would be sore but should heal without a problem. His heart had gone into overdrive, causing him to have a heart attack on the surgical table. Linda listened almost as if in shock as she was told about the extent of his injuries. She sat, catatonic, as the doctor talked to her. The Do Not Resuscitate order paperwork they'd given her along with other medical forms sat on the clipboard beside her taunting her. They weren't sure Danny was going to make it. They'd already lost his pulse twice. They weren't sure if they should try a third time or not. Linda prayed her husband would life. She didn't know how to live without him. They'd been together for over half of their lives. She could barely remember a time without Danny at her side. Linda couldn't lose her husband. She could hardly believe what was happening. Linda closed her eyes and prayed.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to put the Erin thing in here but it's better without it.

Frank had watched his daughter-in-law sit quietly since the moment they arrived. Only moving when one of her children needed her attention. Frank put a hand on her shoulder and handed her a cup of crappy hospital coffee, "Drink this." He told her sternly.

Linda took the cup but didn't sip it. She felt it warm the palms of her hands, "They wouldn't give me this if they thought he was going to make it." Linda spoke softly, "I'm going to lose him." Linda closed her eyes to hold back tears.

"Danny's a fighter. He's going to make it through this. He wouldn't leave you and the kids. He's doing everything he can to stay alive. We just have to trust him. You know Danny. Always running off to do something dangerous and stupid but he always comes home to you. I hear you two say that a lot. Every time he leaves for a shift. You tell him to come home and he does." Frank tried to be strong for Linda. He felt like his world was losing another piece. He'd lost too many family members. He'd already lost a child. He couldn't lose another one, "He's going to come home."

"I'm not so sure he can. I don't know if it's up to him anymore." Linda wiped the tear that roughly fell down her cheek. She looked up to see the same nurse that was out to hand her the forms walking towards them, "WHat's going on?" Linda asked not waiting for the nurse to speak.

"Mrs. Reagan. Why don't you come with me to talk privately?" The nurse said quietly.

"Is he..." Linda dared not say the word.

"He's alive. But I'd like to talk to you alone." The nurse hoped the news of Danny being alive brought some comfort.

"Frank." Linda looked at him to help her.

"We're both coming with you." He told the nurse leaving no room for argument.

The nurse nodded her head. She wordlessly led Frank and Linda to a private room, shutting the door behind her, "The injuries to Detective Reagan are severe. He's coding on the table. We've gotten him back but it's happened more than once. It _keeps_ reoccurring. We are doing everything we can to save Detective Reagan. At this point, we can keep going or we can stop." 

Linda's wall of strength collapsed, "Oh my God! Danny!" She bawled. Tears ran from her eyes as she sobbed, "I can't lose him! He can't go!"

Frank pulled Linda into his arms, "It's going to be okay." He promised. No matter the outcome, it would eventually be okay. He'd do everything in his power to make it okay, "What are his chances?"

"It doesn't look favorable. We can't get him stable enough to finish repairing the damage and he won't be able to handle the stress of another surgery if we close him up." The nurse told them, "Mrs. Reagan. I realize this is extremely difficult. But we have to ask. If your husband codes again, do you want us to take extraordinary measures to keep him alive?"

"Yes." Linda nodded her head, "Danny's going to fight. He's going to make it though. Please save him. Please. Do everything you can. Just save my husband." Linda put a hand over her chest as her heart clenched.

"Okay, Mrs. Reagan." The nurse said, "We will continue to do everything we can."

"Can I talk to him?" Linda asked through her sobs.

"Uh..." The nurse stumbled not knowing what to say.

"Look. I know your job. I did your job. I'm a nurse. I know there's only so much you can do medically. But I just...If I can talk to him, maybe he'll fight harder. If he knows his family is here. That we love him. Please." Linda begged. She was an intelligent woman. She knew what the nurse was sent out here for. She was sent out to prepare Linda for the news that they couldn't save her husband. She wanted the children to be able to say goodbye to their Daddy, one last time. For her to tell him she loved him, one last time. To know that the last words she ever said to her husband were 'I love you'.

"I'll see what I can do." The nurse put a hand on Linda's shoulder, "I'll come back as soon as I can and I'll find a way for you to speak to him."

Linda shuddered, "Thank you." 

Frank held Linda in his arms as she lost her composure. She sobbed, screamed, cried, and wept for the love of her life. Linda hadn't realized ten minutes had passed since the nurse left. Only the soft knock at the door made Linda lift her head from Frank's shoulder.

"Mrs. Reagan. We can put you on the phone in the operating room if you'd like." The nurse said, "You can use this one."

"Frank. I need the kids." Linda sniffled.

"Okay." Frank quickly walked out of the room to collect Jack, Sean and Charlie, Grace, Faith, and Sam. He was back within seconds with a half asleep Sam in his arms, sleeping Faith in Jack's and Grace who kept looking around not knowing why everyone was so sad. Sean held Charlie close when he walked into the room.

"Hey, guys." Linda put on a small smile for the young children, "We're going to call Daddy and tell him we love him. Okay?"

"Daddy huwt?" Grace asked.

"He's going to be okay. But he needs to hear us say our bedtime prayers so he can take a nap and then he'll feel better." Linda tried her best not to start crying again. She let the nurse dial the number for the operating room. Linda waited until she was told they could speak, "Hey baby." Linda closed her eyes tight. She pulled Grace into her arms hugging her daughter, "We wanted to say our prayers and tell you we love you." Linda hated that she was scaring Grace by crying, "Okay. Let's say our prayers." She felt Frank's strong arm around her shoulders as they all started to speak. Jack and Sean understanding that they were losing their father and this was goodbye.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the Lord, my soul, to take." Linda sobbed harder as they all solemnly finished speaking.

"Hey, Dad." Jack spoke first, "I um...I love you." He wiped tears from his eyes, "Thank you for showing me how to be a man and how to treat the woman I love. Because I found her. I was going to surprise you and Mom but um..." Jack took a deep breath, "I asked Kathleen to marry me last weekend and she said yes. So I'm engaged now."

"Oh, Jack." Linda put a hand over her mouth as she continued to cry.

"Dad. You've been the best father I could ever ask for. You've taught me so much. Thank you. Because of you, I'm a better father. I'm going to raise Charlie how you raised me. Because I want Charlie to learn from the best Dad in the world. I want him to learn from you." Sean kissed the top of Charlie's head.

"Okay, Grace. It's your turn. You talk to Daddy." Linda said.

"Daddy? I love you, Daddy. Mommy says you have a boo boo an' have to take a nap. It's okay. Naps are good. Feel better Daddy!" Grace smiled hoping she made her Mommy happy again. She didn't understand why everyone was so sad. Grace wondered if Daddy had a bad boo boo like the time they went to the doctor because Charlie fell off the bed and Sean got scared without Mommy around.

"Faith, want to say hi to Daddy?" Linda asked their youngest daughter.

"Love you, Daddy." Faith yawned, "Daddy nap?" She asked.

"Yes. Daddy's going to nap soon." Jack ran his fingers through his little sister's hair as she dozed off to sleep in his arms.

"What about you Sam?" Linda looked over to him in Frank's arms.

"Daddy, I hewp Mommy cooker thoup! It nummy! Fewl bedder! Wuv oo!" Sam said, proud of himself for wanting to make soup with Mommy. Daddy always said Mommy's soup was the best thing if you were sick.

"Frank?" Linda asked if he wanted to speak. After all, he was Danny's father. 

He nodded his head, "You sure?" He asked Linda not wanting to overstep his bounds. Linda nodded her head in confirmation, "You stay strong Danny. You fight." Frank hugged Sam, "We all need you. We love you."

"Can you take the kids?" Linda asked Frank wanting to talk alone for a moment. She knew she'd lose it and Grace was scared enough.

Frank hugged Linda tight with Sam still in his arms before taking Grace's hand and leading the children out of the room. Linda wrapped her arms around herself, "Danny. I've loved you for more than half my life. I'll always love you. I need you. I love you." She sobbed, "And I want you to fight. I want you to come home. But I know that you're in pain. And I want you to be okay. So as much as it's going to hurt. And as hard as it's going to be. If you need to go. You can go. It's okay. I'll be okay." Linda cried, "You go if you need to. I love you. I'll love you until my last breath." Linda took a moment to try and speak again, "It's okay. I love you." Linda ended the call, weeping for the loss of her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

Linda sat next to Frank curled into her father-in-law's side. The hours dragged on and on. Eventually, Charlie, Grace, Faith, and Sam were sent back to the Reagan house with close friends and a team of NYPD officers. They needed to sleep in their own beds and eat a real meal. Jack and Sean sat beside each other not talking just leaning against each other. Erin and Nicky sat to the side not talking to anyone while Jamie quietly talked to Sid and Garrett who faithfully stayed by Frank's side.

"He's going to pull through." Frank whispered to Linda.

"I told him he can go. I don't want him in pain. I told him it's okay to go." Linda cried.

"You what?!" Erin overheard Linda talking to Frank, "I can't believe you said that!"

Linda looked up at Erin. If her eyes could kill, the look she was giving Erin with would have obliterated her. Linda didn't even have to speak before Frank did, "Sit down Erin!"

"You don't tell someone who is dying to go. You tell them to stay. Is that what you learned while nursing?! That if it's hard it's okay to let it go?" Erin frowned.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Linda shook her head.

"You told my brother it was okay to die." Erin started getting upset at Linda.

"I told my husband what I think he needed to hear. And if you don't like it, you don't need to be here." Linda narrowed her eyes at Erin.

"You're so selfish Linda. Always thinking about yourself." Erin walked out of the room clearly upset.

"She's mouthing off." Frank said to Linda, "I'll go talk to her."

"No. Please. Just let it go. I can't handle that too right now." Linda begged Frank to stay.

"Alright." Frank nodded his head.

While Linda went back to contemplating life without her husband she hadn't noticed Erin had taken the small pile of paperwork Linda still hadn't filled out.

* * *

One hour, three minutes, and twelve seconds later, the nurse was back. This time with the doctor behind her. Linda was sure this was the moment she'd remember as the moment her heart stopped beating. The moment she stopped breathing. The moment she stopped living.

"Mrs. Reagan." The doctor sat down across from her, "I'm Doctor Carlucci." He held his hand out to shake LInda's, "I'm the primary doctor on your husband's case. You've already met his charge nurse, Anna. Detective Reagan is in recovery. He made it through surgery. It was hard on him. But he stabilized and we were able to work quickly to get him patched up." Linda put her hands over her mouth as she sobbed with joy. He was alive. That's all that mattered in this moment, "He's not out of the woods. He needs to wake up. His brain was deprived of oxygen for quite some time. We've seen this go two ways. Very good and very bad. We won't know anything until he wakes up and we can assess his cognitive function. He may wake up tomorrow morning or it could take days or weeks. We just don't know yet. But for now. He's alive."

"I need to see him." Linda gasped between sobs.

"Yes. We can only allow you right now." Doctor Carlucci told her.

"Okay." Linda nodded her head, "Okay." Linda hugged Frank tight, "Thank you." She said softly. She crossed the room and hugged Jack and Sean, "I'll tell him you're here." She said to them both. Linda followed the doctor to Danny's room. Being a trauma nurse for so many years prepared Linda for almost everything. She thought she had seen it all. She'd seen Danny hurt and even on a ventilator before. But nothing compared to this. Danny looked like he was dead on the hospital bed. He had very little color on his face, his skin was pale, wires seemed to be hooked up all over him. Linda didn't know what to do. She stood in the doorway for a moment to take it all in. This was the ICU. Linda prayed Danny would wake up. She didn't want to be a widow. She didn't know how to live without hiim.

"It's alright. Take your time." The doctor told her pulling out a chair for her to sit, "Take all the time you need. Anna will be in and out to check on him." Doctor Carlucci said, "He's a strong one." The doctor said before leaving the room.

Linda sat in the seat beside her husband. She touched his hand gently. Between the bruising, loss of color, wires and how fragile he looked Linda was afraid to hurt him.

"You can hold it, honey." Anna walked over and pressed Danny's hand into Linda's, "That's why we make sure to leave one available." She smiled softly.

"Thank you." Linda said to Anna as she charted Danny's vitals. Linda kissed the back of Danny's hand, "I love you so much. Oh, Danny." Linda laid her cheek on Danny's hand as she sobbed. She fought her own body as it tried to shut down but Linda couldn't rest. Not without Danny being awake. Linda was going to wait until she saw his eyes before she closed hers. She prayed for more strength. She prayed he'd wake up. She prayed everything would be alright. Linda prayed to God cursing him for allowing Danny to be hurt like this. Linda sobbed all night long. Her eyes running dry until more tears started the second she'd squeezed Danny's hand again. The moon rose high through the night. Linda stayed by Danny's side not moving. Holding his hand and telling him over and over, how much she loved him. When the sun came up again, Linda lost her battle with sleep, dropping her head with Danny's hand trapped beneath her and the mattress.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Linda woke up a few hours later to Anna's hand on her shoulder, "He's starting to wake up." Anna spoke softly, pointing to Danny. Linda watched his facial expressions change as his eyes started to open.

"Danny." Linda let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, "Oh Danny." Linda almost jumped out of her skin when she felt him squeeze her hand.

"Linda." Danny whispered still not quite awake.

Linda couldn't stop the tears that fell hearing him say her name. She was so sure he was going to die and ere he was. Eyes open, talking to her. Linda cried harder when he moved his hand from hers to cup her cheek. Danny brushed the tears away with his thumb, "Oh thank God." Linda leaned into his touch. 

"HIs vitals look okay. I'll go get Doctor Carlucci." Anna said quietly.

Linda couldn't hold herself back anymore. She wrapped her arms around Danny as tightly as she could but carefully so as not to disturb the wires and tubes attached to him, "I love you." She whispered in his ear. Linda pressed a soft kiss to Danny's lips before tucking her head into the crook of his shoulder. Danny placed his hand on Linda's back softly rubbing it up and down.

"Love you." Danny's voice was hoarse and groggy. He whispered softly to Linda wishing he could hold her closer.

"Detective! Glad to see you're awake!" Doctor Carlucci walked in the room, "I just need to check a few things and see how you're doing." The doctor smiled. Linda sat up so she could watch the tests being done. She knew both sides of the scale. When a brain has been deprived of oxygen, seconds mattered and Danny had lost minutes without breathing and a pulse. Linda watched as Danny's eyes reacted properly to the doctor's penlight. She watched Danny track the doctor's finger around with his eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief when Danny was able to feel the prick against his toes signaling little to no nervous system damage, "Alright Detective. A few questions. What's your full name?"

"Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan." Danny kept his eyes on Linda who hadn't stopped crying. He squeezed her hand with his.

"Do you know where you are and why?" The doctor asked.

"Hospital. Perp thought he was going to win a fight. He thought wrong." Danny flashed Linda a small smile.

"Do you know who this is?" Doctor Carlucci asked pointing to Linda.

"That is my beautiful wife. And the second she's not so upset anymore about whatever is medically wrong with me, she's going to be pretty pissed. I have a feeling it will require flowers and jewelry to make this one up." Danny grinned.

"It's going to be more than that." Linda teased gently. She was ecstatic that Danny seemed to be okay. At least his brain was okay. He was able to speak, move, feel pain or pressure. He didn't have a lapse of time or memories. Things seemed to look okay at least for now.

"We'll keep monitoring you here in the ICU. If things keep progressing we might be able to move you to a regular room later today." The doctor said, "Once you're in a regular room, you'll be allowed visitors besides your wife." The doctor explained Danny all of his injuries and the extent of them all. He told Danny how his broken hand would have to heal before he could be allowed to go back to work and that it would take time for his ribs to fully heal, meaning more time off work. When he was done he shook Danny and LInda's hands again, "Glad you're on the mend, Detective."

"Thank you." Linda said to him.

The doctor nodded his head and smiled as he walked out of the room. Anna checked Danny's vitals again before shutting the door behind her giving Danny and Linda time to be alone.

"Are you okay?" Danny asked Linda.

Linda looked at Danny not sure if she heard him correctly. Had he really just asked if  _she_ was okay? Linda kissed her husband softly, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Linda hated that she couldn't stop crying.

"I must be on really good medication. I feel fine. Tired mostly." Danny said truthfully. Linda had always been able to see when he was lying and he didn't want to lie about this.

"Then close your eyes and get some rest." Linda suggested.

"You should rest too." Danny noticed her red eyes.

"I will after you're asleep." Linda lied a little. She wasn't going to sleep. Not till he woke up a second and third time.

"Sleep with me?" Danny tried. Maybe if he could shift a bit she could lay beside him. Danny tried but couldn't shift over without flinching in pain. 

Linda put a hand on his shoulder, "Stop moving. You'll hurt yourself." Linda pushed the chair up to the bed, "I'll lay right there." Linda put her head on the bed beside her husbands, "Close your eyes." She instructed.

"Okay." Danny yawned. Linda watched as Danny tried to stay awake, "I love you, Linda."

"I love you. Get some sleep and when you wake up, hopefully, it will also be a room change and then you can see the kids." She sighed. Linda let herself close her eyes while Danny slowly ran his fingers through her hair. Linda was softly snoring by the time Danny fell asleep beside her. Danny fell asleep with his wife and children on his mind. He could tell by the way Linda looked at him that she was terrified. Danny was determined to get out of the hospital and make it up to her. For now, he was just happy to be alive. For now, he'd enjoy the quiet time with his wife, thanking God that lived through such a horrific situation. That his wife was by his side. That he wasn't alone. It was then that Danny Reagan undesroond just how lukcy he was.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Hours later Linda woke up to Danny softly massaging her scalp. With only one hand mobile, he hadn't stopped touching Linda since he woke up. Linda opened her eyes praying it wasn't a dream she had that Danny was awake. She was pleasantly greeted with the sight of her husband wide awake in front of her.

"Hey, you." Linda kissed his lips, "You should have woken me when you woke up." 

"You need the sleep. Just as much as I do." Danny said to her, "I know you haven't been sleeping."

"It's fine." Linda shrugged, "How do you feel?" She read his vitals from the various machines hooked up to him.

"I'm alright. My chest is sore but it's okay. The pain meds are keeping it from hurting but I know it's really sore. Breathing deep is really uncomfortable." Danny told her. He knew better than to lie to Linda about his health. He didn't even sugar coat how he felt. 

Linda placed her hand gently on his chest. She hadn't seen it yet but she knew there was going to be a scar from the surgery. When they were finally able to stabilize him and get him patched up they didn't want to waste time. They repaired what they could and closed him up as quickly as possible. Between the bruising and the surgery, there'd be a nasty scar on his chest. As a reminder of how close to death he came. Linda wiped the tear from her eye before it could fall, "I'm so glad you're okay. That you're here. That you're even able to speak to me." She sniffled, "I was so scared."

"Oh, Linda." Danny squeezed her hand.

"I love you." Linda dropped her head to his shoulder, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Danny wrapped his good arm around his wife holding her as close as he could.

When Doctor Carlucci came in later that day to check on Danny he was happy to report Danny could be moved out of the ICU. Partially due to Danny's stubbornness and incessant questions on why he needed to stay when his wife was a nurse and by his side the whole time and partially due to the fact that he  _was_ improving. Slowly but surely.

Once Danny was moved to his room it was quickly filled with the Reagan family. Charlie, Sam, and Faith sat on the couch watching a movie, still a bit too little to really understand what was going on. Grace in her Mother's arms sitting beside Daddy in bed. Grace knew that Daddy must be really hurt to be in the hospital, plus Mommy still looked really sad. Sean sat in the chair next to the bed while Jack stood with his arms wrapped around Kathleen's shoulders from behind. After she heard what happened she'd stayed with Jack to help the family with whatever she could. She was in school to get her degree in child psychology and a minor in early childhood education. She took over care of Jack's siblings and nephew to alleviate some of the burdens from the rest of the Reagan's. Frank stood at the foot of the bed next to Jamie. Both happy to see Danny awake and talking. Erin and Nicky were off to the side. Erin still hadn't apologized to Linda for what she said while in the waiting room after finding out Linda gave Danny permission to go if he couldn't hold on any longer.

Linda allowed Erin and Nicky to be in the room but the tension between them was thick. It would only get worse when Linda found out Erin filled out the paperwork forging Linda's signature. She'd signed off on a do not resuscitate order for Danny in spite of her sister-in-law. Erin figured if Linda was okay with Danny dying then she obviously didn't care if they tried to save his life. Erin had submitted the paperwork to the nurse's station telling them she was dropping it off for Linda. Erin had also incorrectly filled out Danny's basic medical form and listed herself as one of his emergency contacts when she never was listed before. Unbeknownst to Linda and Danny, Erin had also looked into Ethan. She found out that he was alive and expected to make a full recovery of his injuries but that he wasn't mentally competent to stand trial. She talked to the DA about the case letting them know that Danny had lived but didn't realize that information would be shared with Ethan as well, putting Danny and his family at risk if Ethan somehow escaped custody or the psychiatric ward of the same hospital Danny was in.

"You gave us quite the scare." Frank said to Danny.

"Yeah man. That's not cool. You can't do that." Jamie tried to brush it off. The image of Danny lying on the floor in that bathroom was burned into his brain.

"Noted. Won't happen again." Danny said to them both.

"Don't even think of asking when you can get back to work. You go back when I say you go back and the doctor clears you. Quite possibly when Linda says it's okay too." Frank smiled, "I've already signed off on the papers. You're on medical leave with pay."

"Yes, Sir." Danny nodded his head. The serious tone in his father's voice wasn't one to fool around with.

"Daddy go home?" Grace asked. It was scary to see her Daddy in the hospital bed. The machines beeped loudly around him and everyone was still crying.

"Soon, Ladybug. I'll come home when I feel a little better. You keep being such a good girl for your Grandpa and your big brothers." Danny kissed his daughter's cheek.

"Katween, sing nite nite songs an she maked M&M pancakes!" Grace smiled wide. 

"That's so nice of her. I'm glad you're being so good for everyone." Danny smiled, "Daddy's really thankful Kathleen is helping out and taking such great care of you and your brother and sister."

"It's not a problem at all Sir." She smiled, "I'm just happy to be helpful." Kathleen grinned.

"We kind of had something to tell you. We were trying to wait and do it as a surprise but you had to kind of screw that up." Jack teased his father, "So we're just going to tell you now. We're engaged. I asked her to marry me last weekend and she said yes." Jack smiled ear to ear.

"Oh my God! You did tell me that and I completely forgot!" Linda shook her head, "I haven't even congratulated you two yet." She mentally kicked herself.

"It's okay Mom. You've been busy." Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Congratulations Jack!" Jamie patted his nephew on the shoulder.

"That's awesome!" Sean smiled at the two of them.

"Welcome to the family." Frank said to Kathleen.

"Congrats guys." Nicky smiled.

"I'm so happy for you." Linda set Grace on the bed to hug both Jack, then Kathleen, "Congratulations." She smiled. Kathleen was a wonderful girl. She was smart, grew up in a family of cops so she knew what she was getting into, she seemed to really love Jack. Every time they went out of came over the house, Kathleen was nothing short of sweet and polite. Linda had even caught the two of them arguing after Sunday dinner once. They'd both taken a walk together after the fight. They must have talked it out seeing them coming back around the block hand in hand. Linda could see how much Kathleen loved Jack and he loved her. That's all she ever wanted for her children. For them to be happy. Kathleen and Jack made each other happy.

"Congratulations you two." Danny smiled, "You sure you want to put up with him for the rest of your life?" Danny teased his son.

"He might wear a badge and gun one day but I'll continue to be the one that makes the decisions in the relationship." Kathleen teased Jack.

Danny laughed, "Ow. I can't laugh." He smiled, "I knew I liked you. The day I met you. There was something about you that gave you instant approval in my book."

"It doesn't change if the badge turns into a shield either." Linda teased Danny.

"My mom says the same thing." Kathleen grinned, "They send their best wishes for a quick recovery. I told them how you were hurt on the job and it was pretty serious. Jack and I were supposed to go to Boston for a few days and we postponed it. Obviously."

"You didn't have to do that." Danny shook his head.

"Yes, we did." Kathleen said, "My parents always taught me, family first. And you're Jack's family and soon to be mine too, so we prioritized."

"Thank you." Linda smiled at Kathleen, "That was a very mature thing to do. You didn't have to stay and help take care of Jack's siblings. It's appreciated."

"They're cute. I have younger siblings too and I work in a daycare at the moment so I have a lot of experience with kids. Plus, Grace loves to do arts and crafts which are really fun for me. We melted these little plastic beads, they are made for melting, and made suncatchers, this morning. She made a ladybug, I made Charlie a dragon, Sam made a Micky Mouse head, and Faith made a sun." Kathleen grinned, "I'm trying to keep them occupied so they kind of don't know what's going on. My dad got really hurt when I was little, his partner at the time died and he was in the hospital for a really long time. It freaked me out for a while. So I figured they were probably a bit scared too so I thought trying to keep it off their minds would help."

"That's a smart way of thinking." Danny said to her.

"Wow, Jack. I didn't know your girlfriend, sorry fiancee was so much smarter than you." Sean teased.

"That's a pretty big decision getting married so young." Erin said from in the back of the room.

"Mom and Dad were younger." Jack said.

"But they knew each other a lot longer." Erin said, "Either way, Danny glad you're okay. Even though Linda was okay with you not being alright. I have to get to work and get Nicky home. I'll catch you all later." Erin said rather coldly towards everyone int he room.

Everyone heard Erin's snarky comment but no one dared say anything until Frank cleared his throat, "I think this news is cause for some celebratory lunch. Why don't we drop the kids off at their daycare and grab something before you all head to work or school or home?" Frank grinned.

"I skip work." Jack shook his head.

"No. Your Grandpa is right. I'm okay. You're Mom will keep you updated. You all go back to work or school. You don't need to hang around here. I'm going to be just fine and you guys hovering over isn't good for you. Help out with your siblings and your Mom and I will call later." Danny told Jack and Sean before they both could protest.

"Dad. Are you sure?" Sean asked.

"I'm sure. Go on." Danny nodded his head.

Sean, Jack, and Kathleen gathered Faith, Sam, and Charlie while Frank took Grace. Hugs and kisses were exchanged between the kids and their parents before Frank and Jamie herded them all out of the room to get them settled back into their daily routine.

"Oh God. Jack's getting married." Linda sighed, "They need to slow down. They are getting so big."

"I'm pretty proud of them though. They both are turning out to be decent men." Danny put and arm around Linda's waist as she sat next to him.

"They have you to thank for that." Linda kissed his cheek.

"And you." Danny said, "What was Erin talking about?" Danny asked. 

Linda wiped a stray tear, "You were in surgery. It had been hours of surgery. I had the paperwork for a Do Not Resuscitate order that they gave me to look over but I hadn't signed anything. The nurse came out a little while later and took Frank and me aside." Linda took a deep breath trying to continue without sobbing, "She said they were having a hard time keeping you from coding on the table. Apparently, your heart stopped a few times and they had to shock it back." Linda sniffled, "She asked if it happened again would I want them to shock you back again. I said yes and then asked if the kids and I could talk to you somehow so that they could say goodbye. Because I was so sure....so they did. The doctor let us call through the OR phone. And the kids and Frank said what they wanted to." Linda cried, "And I talked to you and I said that it was okay to let go if you needed to. Because I didn't want you in pain." Linda broke down sobbing.

"Oh, Linda." Danny pulled her as close as he could between wires and only having one good hand at the moment.

"I'm sorry." Linda cried into his shoulder, "I love you I just didn't want you hurting anymore. And it had been multiple times. They couldn't stabilize you. They couldn't do anything because your heart just kept stopping. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Baby. Hey. It's okay. I get it." Danny soothed, "It's alright."

"I'm sorry Danny." Linda's words shook as she cried.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. If they were handing you that type of paperwork and telling you things like that, then it was serious enough to think that I wasn't going to make it." Danny told her, "I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry you were in that position. But I have to tell you, it's good to know that you love me enough to let me go. Knowing that you care about me so much that you'd let me go because I was hurting even though it would hurt you if I was gone." 

"I love you so much." Linda kissed him sweetly.

"I love you." Danny replied automatically, "That had to be incredibly hard for you. I'm glad I have such a strong wife."

"And I'm glad you fought so hard to stay." Linda rested her head on Danny's shoulder as her tears slowed. Though things were still scary and uncertain, the one thing Linda Reagan knew was that with Danny at her side, both ready to fight, they'd get through this. She just didnt' realize their next battle was coming sooner rather than later.


	11. Chapter 11

A week passed with Danny in the hospital. He was only released when they were sure his lungs wouldn't collapse by walking around the house or up and down stairs. Linda made Danny promise he wasn't going to push himself. When she left the room for a cup of coffee leaving Danny and Frank alone, Frank had told Danny in no uncertain terms was he allowed to push himself. He was to do what the doctors ordered and rest. If Frank had to get officers to help Linda keep Danny in bed, he'd do it. Danny promised he'd listen and take the time to heal.

Linda was helping her husband slide on his shoes when Nurse Anna came in with paperwork, "Okay. This is just the discharge information. We wanted to verify the phone numbers and some of the paperwork before you go."

Linda took the clipboard, "I don't remember filling this out." Linda frowned. She'd been out of it but she didn't think she was that off in her own mind. Linda flipped through the papers, "Who filled this out?" Linda gasped startled to see the Do Not Resuscitate order filled out, "That's not my signature." Linda shook her head.

"Let me see?" Danny took the papers from her, "No that's not."

"What?" Anna asked, "Are you sure? Sometimes loved ones forget about this stuff when someone is seriously hurt."

"My signature hasn't changed." Linda looked through the papers to find the initial surgery consent form they'd asked her to sign when she got to the hospital, "See. That was when I first got here and he was already in surgery." Linda pointed out, "Who handed these off to records?" 

"I can find out. Sit tight. In the meantime, I'll get you a new set to fill out. I'll also get my boss." Anna said. She quickly handed Danny and Linda a new packet of forms.

"Let's get those boys in here and a secondary team." Frank looked over to Garrett who was standing in the doorway, never far from Frank.

"Yes, Sir. I'll call someone." Garrett pulled his phone out and started making calls. He sent the two officers that were standing guard outside Danny's room to see Frank.

"You two notice anyone suspicious around here?" Frank asked them.

"No Sir. Only people in and out are yourself, or family members. Miss Artuso, DCPI Moore, Detective Beaz, Lieutenant Gormley and the assigned medical personnel." The officer responded.

"And we background checked all the medical personnel correct?" Frank double checked.

"Yes, Sir." The second officer confirmed.

"Did either one of you see who exchanged paperwork with one of the nurses? Someone is forging documents relating to Danny's medical care." Frank explained. He was trying to figure out exactly who had access to Danny's paperwork.

"The only people that have handed paperwork off would be Mrs. Reagan, yourself, Officer Reagan was given something but I can confirm he handed it to Mrs. Reagan after collecting it for her at the front desk, and ADA Reagan dropped some paperwork off while the Detective was still in surgery." The first officer stated.

"Do you know what it was?" Frank asked.

"No Sir. I didn't look at the papers. I just saw her come to the desk and turn them in." He replied.

"Thank you, Officers. Back to your posts." Frank dismissed them.

The two officers walked back out to stand guard at Danny's door. With Ethan only one floor above Danny, Frank wasn't taking any precautions. Even at his home, it was filled with officers and an ESU team on standby.

"Do you remember giving Erin anything? Or Jamie?" Frank asked Linda.

"No. Jamie brought me consent forms while Danny was still in surgery but if something was returned I thought it was just you or I that gave it back. This is weird. This form has Erin listed as next of kin which isn't a big thing but it's always been me, you then Jack. Not Erin." Linda said.

"I'll call Erin." Frank wondered what his daughter was doing handing in paperwork for Linda when Linda couldn't remember giving it to Erin to turn in.

* * *

Two hours later, Erin, Jamie, Jamie's partner, Garrett, two NYPD officer Garrett had called down, the hospital legal team, Frank, Danny, Linda, Doctor Carlucci, Nurse Anna, and the head of the records department, Mr. Pearson, were all in the same room. 

"What's going on?" Erin asked. When she got the phone call her father had just told her to come down to the hospital without giving any other information.

"Anyone remember dropping paperwork off at the nurse's station?" Frank asked, "There's a problem with some of it. Linda's signature is forged. We'd like to take a look at the security footage if possible." Frank said to the hospital lawyers.

"I know I handed some stuff to Linda. HIPPA forms and a consent form for something." Jamie said.

"I dropped some stuff off when Linda was done with it." Erin lied trying to think of a way to get herself out of hot water.

"No one else touched anything right?" Frank asked, "You two don't remember one of the boys or anyone we don't know near the nurse's desk?" 

"No. It's been pretty secure here." Jamie said.

"We've got officers outside, plain clothes walking the floor, plus the two officers posted out front and officers upstairs." Garrett said.

"What papers did I give you?" Linda asked Erin, truly not remember what she would have handed over.

"I didn't really look at it." Erin lied again.

Danny watched his sister shuffle her feet. A habit she did as a child when she lied, "Erin, I'm going to change my next of kin when we resign these forms. I need a third person after Dad and Linda. Can I put your work number on it?" Danny asked trying to trip up his sister into spilling whatever she knew.

Erin fell right into Danny's trap, "It's already on there." She said not thinking, "I-I mean I'd assume it was on there."

"Mrs. Reagan. Can we have you sign your last name, please? Just to rule out that you aren't suspect. We've already done it for everyone here and Officer Reagan. We just need yours." One of the hospital lawyers stepped in.

"Uh...sure." Erin didn't know what to do. She knew she was caught but maybe she could blame Linda, "Oh you know what?! I  _did_ sign your name Linda. Those were the forms they handed you when you were upset and couldn't fill them out so you asked me to do it."

Linda shook her head, "No. I didn't. Because I refused to sign the DNR that you signed off on. And Jack's next of kin after Frank, not you. Not even Jamie. Jack's been the third one down for both of us since he turned twenty-one. And the medical history is wrong. The only one that did anything to paperwork besides me was Frank and that was because I couldn't concentrate so Frank filled it out by what I said and I signed it. I wouldn't trust you with something that important. Ever. Especially since you decided you are so much better than anyone else." 

"Erin. That's fraud." Jamie said.

"Seriously? As if I don't have enough right now?" Danny started to get angry at his sister, "You really think that forging my wife's name was going to do what?! What was your game plan here Erin?!"

"I can't believe you did that." Frank said disappointed in his daughter's actions, "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Linda said Danny could die so she didn't give a damn anyway. Those papers had been sitting on the chair in that waiting room for hours without her caring about them. That someone needed to get the records done so that if something happened the legal information was there. And as far as that DNR goes, you're the one that told him it's okay to die so I didn't really think you were serious when you refused the DNR." Erin blew her top.

"Go to Hell, Erin." Linda shook her head, "You can't keep messing with my family. With my husband. I'm not going to sit back and say it's okay because you're Danny's sister. No. It's not okay. It's being a spoiled brat."

"Erin you can't just do what you want!" Danny yelled at her. 

"Screw you, Linda." Erin looked at her, "Get off your high horse over there. You're not the damn queen just because you're older than me. You don't get that position. Know your place in this family."

"And you know yours with my family!" Linda raged, "God! I have half a mind to press charges against you for forging those documents! It's a damn good thing you're my husband's sister or so help me I'd see your ass in court!"

"Ladies!" Frank tried to stop the cat fight.

"You're all talk Linda." Erin rolled her eyes.

"Really?! You don't think I'd do it?!" Linda asked, "Oh my God!" Linda bit her lip and shook her head, "Now I know where Nicky gets it from. You! You are such a spoiled brat! You think the world is owed to you!"

"It's not owed to me." Erin shook her head, "But you can bet I'm not taking any crap from you. You told my brother he could die! And you're mad because I put it on paper?"

"That's not how that was at all." Linda felt her blood boiling inside.

"Yes! It is! You were okay to let him die! But I'm the bad guy for filling out a form about it? Christ Linda!" Erin smirked.

"Erin, shut up!" Danny yelled at her.

"You know, after the whole Nicky thing I tried to give you a second chance. I forgave you. But this isn't okay. This behavior won't continue. I won't let it go. You need to learn your lesson. And God help me if I have to have you arrested for you to learn it then that's no longer my problem!" Linda wished she could slap the words out of Erin's mouth.

"I can't believe you're pinning this on Nicky! She did nothing wrong!" Erin defended her daughter, "Are you such a cranky bitch right now because it's been a while since you've been laid or is it because you didn't want Danny to know you didn't care if he died? Quit being pissed off at me, and go fuck yourself, Linda!" Erin spat.

"Get out! Stay the Hell away from my family!" Linda clenched her fists in anger.

"HEY!" Frank yelled over the both of them.

"ERIN!" Jamie hollered at his sister.

"DON'T TALK TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT!" Danny yelled at Erin. He winced in pain as his lungs tightened. Danny put a hand to his chest trying to breathe through the pain.

Linda whipped around to see Danny in pain, "Get her out of here!" She yelled at anyone who would do it, "What's wrong?" Linda put a hand over Danny's chest.

"I'm okay. Just a pain." Danny assured his wife.

"Alright, that's it. Everyone get out." Doctor Carlucci said, "My patient comes first, this can be settled after."

Frank took Erin out to the hall while everyone besides Linda and the medical staff left the room.

"Is he okay?" Linda asked the doctor. 

"Let me just listen to him breathe." Doctor Carlucci said calmly. He listened to Danny's lungs and heart for a moment before nodding his head, "You can't yell that loud. You've got to take it easy. Anything strenuous on your lungs isn't good." He reminded Danny.

"Got it Doc." Danny squeezed Linda's hand, "I can still go home right?"

"Yeah. I'm going to print the discharge papers and get you all set. Maybe another hour." He smiled, "And no one comes back in the room. You need as little stress as possible."

"Thank you." Linda watched the doctor and nurse leave the room, "Oh God Danny." Linda hugged him, "What do we do about Erin?"

"It's up to you. It's you she's going after. I won't let her treat you like that. It's not fair." Danny held his wife close.

"I didn't say it was okay for you to die." Linda felt tears in her eyes.

"I know, Baby. I know. Erin is just being ridiculous and I can't figure out why." Danny kissed his wife, "It's okay. I'm alright.  _We're_ alright." Danny said to her.

Linda nodded her head against his shoulder, "I love you so much."

"I love you more." Danny grinned.

"I love you the most." Linda took a few deep breaths to calm herself down from fighting with Erin. She didn't deserve to listen to Erin's irrational rant. Something had to get through to Erin. Linda couldn't keep fighting her like this. Not when it was hurting her family. Family comes first. And in this case, Linda was concerned with her husabnd and children over anyone else.

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Erin. What is going on with you?!" Frank reprimanded his daughter. Never had he seen her act so disrespectful and rude. Erin usually got along with Linda pretty well. She was the bridge between Danny and Erin when they'd fight with each other. Frank had no idea what changed.

"Sure. Yell at me when I'm not the one that said it was okay for Danny to die." Erin shook her head.

"That isn't what she said and you know it." Frank said, "What is going on with you? Do you need to tell me anything? Is there something going on at work? At home? With Nicky? With Jack?" Frank asked.

"Everything is just great. My daughter is a drug addict and her father blames it all on me. Work is just as busy as ever with more lost cases lately than one's I've won. And when I renew the lease on the apartment, my rent is going to increase. It's great. It's a great life for Erin Reagan right now. All while, Linda gets to sit on her lazy ass while Danny puts his life on the line. She get's to have the perfect kids, with the perfect husband, with the perfect house, and perfect life. Must be nice to be able to wash your hands of working and being a productive member of society to sit around all day. They even have money to spare to send kids to daycare so she can go out alone. And Danny almost dies, and she's okay if he  _did_ die." Erin huffed, "But  _I'm_ the bad guy in this situation."

"Your brother is still in bad condition. He's only being released because they think he won't go into cardiac arrest or that he won't collapse a lung. You acting like some jealous toddler because the grass is greener next door isn't helping." Frank told her, "Linda could press charges and there's nothing I can do about that. You'd lose your job, Erin. Don't you understand that?"

Erin sighed, "I'm not jealous."

"Have you heard yourself?" Frank wondered if Erin had thought about what she was saying before saying it.

"It's not fair. I worked my ass off and what did I get? Nothing!" Erin paced back and forth, "Linda married up. I get it. Her family wasn't nearly as good as ours but she's sucking everyone down. Ever since Nicky had this problem, Linda's been the golden child. Pop would never have let this happen."

"Pop wouldn't have let you carry on like this. He'd have put a stop to you long before you swore at your sister-in-law like you just did in there." Frank told her.

"He'd have understood my side though." Erin retorted.

"That's where you're wrong. There are no sides to this." Frank said, "We are a family. And like it or not, we work things out. You have a problem with Linda, then deal with it. But you still her respect." 

"She doesn't show me respect! She threw me out of there!" Erin pointed to the door.

"Because you swore at her and yelled at her. I would have kicked you out too!" Frank said, "You better get your head on the right way. Pull it out of your ass and see what you are doing before you break something that can't be fixed anymore." Frank told her, "Why don't you go back to work? When you're ready to have an adult conversation I'm sure Linda and Danny will be willing to listen."

"C'mon Erin. I'll give you a ride." Jamie offered hoping he'd get a chance to talk to Erin while they drove.

"Fine." Erin crossed her arms and walked away with Jamie behind her.

* * *

Inside the hospital room, Linda and Danny were going over the last bit of paperwork from the doctor, "Any questions?" Doctor Carlucci asked.

Danny looked to Linda knowing she knew more than him, "No." Linda shook her head, "I think we're good."

"Great. Here are the prescriptions to fill. Call if you have any questions and come back immediately if any of those red flags happen." The doctor pointed to the sheet of paper in front of them.

"Thank you." Linda shook his hand, "Thank you for saving my husband."

"Thank you." Danny shook the doctor's hand next.

"I can cross 'save a hero' off my bucket list now, so thank you. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to see you back here Detective." Doctor Carlucci joked.

"I'll remember that." Danny smiled. Linda squeezed Danny's hand as the doctor left the room with Nurse Anna, "Ready?" Danny asked his wife.

"I am. Are you?" Linda was nervous. She had read through the medical report over and over again. She knew the medications he was supposed to be taking. She knew CPR if needed. She was a trauma nurse. She could handle her husband at home. But something about it being  _Danny_ made it so much more nervewracking.

"You okay?" Danny noticed Linda thinking loudly.

"Yeah." Linda nodded, "I'm okay." She hugged Danny, "You're coming home. I'm so much more than okay." Linda didn't want to let him go. The pair were escorted from the hospital and into a car with Frank. A full line of police cars drove them home where they were greeted by Jack and Kathleen, Sean and Charlie, Grace, Faith and Sam.

"Mommy! Daddy!" The three smaller kids ran towards their parents. Linda hugged all three of them tight before letting them hug Danny.

"Daddy better!" Faith exclaimed.

"That's right. I'm getting better." Danny kissed his daughter on the cheek, "Were you all good?" 

"Yeah!" The three of them smiled.

"Hi, Dad." Sean hugged his father, "I'm glad you're home." He grinned.

"Me too, kiddo." Danny patted Sean's back, then kissed Charlie's head.

"Nice to see you up and about Detective." Kathleen smiled.

"Didn't I tell you to call me Danny? After all, we're going to be family." He grinned.

"Yes, Sir." Kathleen nodded her head.

Linda hugged Kathleen, "Thank you for being here." 

"There's nowhere else I should be right now." Kathleen replied.

"Jack. Here's a marriage tip. Don't lose this one." Danny smiled, "She's one of the good ones." 

The Reagan family moved their reunion inside where Danny could sit on the couch. Grace didn't leave her Daddy's lap while Faith and Sam went off to play with Charlie. Linda sat beside Danny with his arm around her shoulders. Frank took his seat in his chair while Kathleen sat on the other and Jack on the arm of the chair. Sean sat on the other side of his mother on the couch.

"Do you need anything Dad?" 

"Can I get you anything?" 

"I can get you both something to drink?"

Jack, Kathleen, and Sean seemed to be competing to see who could be the most helpful.

"Guys. I'm okay." Danny smiled, "I promise. I just need to be with my family right now."

"Jack, why don't you tell us more about getting engaged? I didn't even know you were planning it. Have you told your parents yet?" She asked Kathleen.

"How long have you two been dating?" Sean asked.

"About a year. We started dating off and on before Christmas and more seriously back in February. So it hasn't really been a long time but it doesn't seem like it's been a  short time either." Jack smiled.

"That's my parents biggest problem. They are happy if I'm happy but they are concerned that since we haven't dated for a long time that it's not the smartest thing to do right now. But I know how I feel and how Jack feels so we think it's the right thing to do. We want to get married. So we are." Kathleen said.

"Have they met you yet?" Danny asked Jack.

"Yeah. A few times." Jack nodded his head, "I don't think your Dad is too fond of me though."

"My dad has seven daughters. I have no brothers. There are my two older sisters, then me, then I have four little sisters. And we range from thirty to eleven. I don't think he thinks anyone is good enough for any of his girls." Kathleen smiled.

"Wow. Seven girls?" Linda said, "And I thought the two I have was a lot."

"Yeah. My poor Dad." Kathleen grinned, "But it was fun growing up in a house full of girls. Until you were the same size as someone else and you found them stealing your clothes. Or shoes. Molly, my older sister closest to my age, is always stealing my shoes."

"Boys just hit each other. I quickly learned that screaming is okay as long as you hear both of them." Linda teased Jack and Sean.

"We got into some really big girl fights. I remember taking Liz taking Hannah's Barbie dolls and tied them to the ceiling fan once when Hannah wouldn't behave for Liz when she was babysitting one time. Then they forgot they were on the ceiling fan, and it got turned on. All of Barbie's bodies popped off Barbie's head like torpedos so there were just these Barbie heads tied to the fan by their hair. Hannah was so upset." Kathleen laughed.

"See. And you thought to make you stay in the closet as the prison when we played cops and robbers wa mean." Jack said to Sean.

"It was mean." Sean shook his head.

"It's because you don't have a younger sibling to pick on. Grace, Faith and Sam are way too little to tease." Jack laughed.

"I think that's just a reason to pick on your younger siblings. How close you are in age." Sean said.

"It doesn't end. Just look at your Aunt and your Dad. They still argue and fight." Frank said.

"It's a little different now though." Danny said.

"True." Frank noted. He sipped his whiskey quietly while the family talked. The minutes turned to hours and eventually, Danny needed to rest. Linda took him upstairs with strict instructions from Frank to get some rest herself. She looked exhausted. She was a mess. The second she and Danny were in clean clothes and under the sheet she was out like a light. The rest would do both of them good. They'd be surprised the following morning to see someone unexpected show up at their door.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The night was difficult for both Danny and Linda. Danny was up and down all night in pain and taking medicine while Linda woke up every time Danny made a move in the bed. Her brain still protective of him and how he was healing. The following morning, Linda woke up to see Danny's eyes on her with his arms around her body. Linda snuggled closer to Danny, "Morning." She mumbled.

"Morning." Danny ran his fingers through Linda's hair. Danny sighed, "How do you feel?"

Linda listened to Danny's heart beneath her ear, "I thought I was dreaming." Linda took a deep breath, "Oh thank God I wasn't dreaming." Linda closed her eyes for a moment laying still in her husband's arms, "You should uh..probably take your pain meds again." Linda sat up. She kissed Danny sweetly before sliding out of bed. Linda walked into the bathroom to get Danny's pain medication and the antibiotics that he was put on. Linda walked back into the bedroom to see Danny sitting up, "Here. Take these." Linda handed her husband his medicaion, "I'll go make breakfast. You just rest here. I'll be right back up."

"Linda." Danny watched her walk around the room while she was getting her robe on.

"You shouldn't take those on an empty stomach." Linda said, "I'll bring breakfast up."

"Linda." Danny said again.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Linda asked walking back to the bed.

"I'm okay. Are you?" Danny asked. He took Linda's hand in his, "What's going on Babe?"

"I'm fine." Linda kissed his lips, "You need to eat."

"I can come downstairs to join you while you cook." Danny said, "I want to be with you." 

"You don't need to be up and down the stairs like that." Linda shook her head, "You heard the doctor. Lots of rest and nothing strenuous. A lot of stairs counts as strenuous." Linda reminded him.

"I can walk down them and sit downstairs." Danny pulled Linda close to him, "Help me get dressed. Then I can sit downstairs while you make breakfast and I can admire my amazing, wonderful, lovely, beautiful wife who I love more than anything in the world."

"I love you too." Linda hugged Danny tightly, "Please don't push yourself." She whispered.

"I won't." Danny kissed Linda softly. He felt Linda shake in his arms, "I won't push myself. I know I do that most of the time. But I won't. I'll rest and sit down. I'll let you tell me what to do and I'll be okay. I promise."

"I just want you to be okay." Linda whispered.

"I have the best nurse there is to look after me. How could I not be okay?" Danny smiled.

"Okay." Linda nodded her head.

Linda helped Danny down the stairs and to the kitchen. She was surprised to see the kids off to daycare already and Frank home from work for the day.

"Hey, Frank." Linda smiled.

"How are you two this morning?" Frank asked.

"Better." Danny took the cup of coffee his father offered him.

"Glad to hear that." Frank sat at the table with Danny while Linda busied herself around the kitchen making breakfast for everyone.

"How do you feel Linda? You get some sleep?" Frank asked her.

"Yeah. I'm good. I'm okay." Linda brushed it off. She was so wrapped in the after-thought of Danny being hurt. The thought of him dying haunting her mind. She still needed to process the fact that she almost lost her husband.

"She's not okay." Danny said to Frank.

"I'll let you two take care of that." Frank smiled. He took his cup of coffee and the morning newspaper out of the room leaving Danny and Linda alone.

Danny watched as Linda went into full cooking mode. She pulled everything imaginable from the fridge that she could use to make any breakfast Danny could want. Danny stood from his chair.

"Sit down!" Linda told him, "You need to rest." Linda sliced some fruit, "How about I make you a bagel and you start on this fruit?" Linda suggested.

"Honey. I'm alright." Danny walked over to her.

"Here. Eat this." Linda pushed a small plate towards him, "You really should sit down." 

"Linda." He sighed softly. Danny slipped his arms around his wife, resting his chin on her shoulder, "It's okay. I'm alright. I'm not going to break."

Linda felt his strong arms circle around her shoulders pulling her to his chest. She wanted to be strong but the tears fell, "I can't stop thinking about it." Linda took a deep breath.

"About what?" Danny asked softly.

"About you not being here. I almost lost you. I look at you and try to imagine you not being here and I can't do it. I can't see a life without you. It was too close this time. It was too close." Linda cried, "And I'm so mad at you and angry that you were put into that position to get hurt. And I'm thankful you're okay. I'm happy, ecstatic even, that you're here. I'm worried that you'll push yourself and get hurt. I feel everything all at once and I can't stop it."

Danny nodded his head. He too felt overwhelmed with emotions unable to control when they flip-flopped around. He pressed a kiss to Linda's neck, "Let's start with one thing at a time. Let's start with breakfast. I'll sit here at the island while you cook. And we'll take the day from there." He figured if they took the day one step at a time they'd get through it together.

"Okay." Linda turned to kiss him properly, "I love you."

"Love you more." Danny grinned.

"Love you the most." Linda smiled watching Danny take a seat and start munching on the fruit she'd cut up.

Danny sat in the kitchen while Linda cooked. Neither one prepared for the guest at the door. Linda answered it after looking to see who it was. Danny stood behind Linda as she opened the door for Erin.


	14. Chapter 14

Linda was stunned to see Erin standing on the front step, "What do you want?" She took a deep breath. Her emotions were already up and down as she still dealt with the roller-coaster she'd been on over the last week. She didn't want to have another fight. Linda knew that if Erin started anything up she'd either lose it and start bawling or lose it and slap her sister-in-law right across the face. 

"I know I'm the last person that you want to see." Erin started. Erin stood still outside not daring to enter the house, "I'm sorry. I haven't really realized what I've been doing but Dad and Jamie talked to me. A lot. I've been wrongly taking out my anger and disappointment over Nicky on the wrong people. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I shouldn't have said any of it."

"So Dad and Jamie made you come here?" Danny interrupted her.

"No." Erin shook her head, "I didn't even tell them I was coming here." Erin took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I wanted you to know that this whole thing was my fault and I'm sorry I started it. I regret how I acted and I didn't realize how hurtful my words were. Linda, you've got the perfect everything. The husband, the kids, the house, the life. The kids that make mistakes but own up to them and do what they can to fix their mistakes and not recreate them. And I have the daughter who is a drug addict."

"You're jealous?" Linda asked.

"You've even taken up the position of the matriarch of the family. Dad spends so much more time with you than me and it's like he's replacing me in his life. It's a lot for me to handle and I didn't realize I was blowing up the way I was and acting so out of control." Erin looked down ashamed of her actions.

"I was never trying to replace you. Frank lives here. That's why he's always around. I don't think it has anything to do with replacing you." Linda said.

"I know. I know that. I'm just...jealous. Of everything you have and I don't. I'm sorry for what I said and did. I swear it won't happen again and I understand if you two need to think things over before inviting me into your home and your lives again. I just hope I still have my big brother and sister-in-law when the dust has settled." Erin said softly. She turned her back to Danny and Linda as she started to walk away.

"Erin!" Linda called out. Erin stopped and turned around, "I'm making breakfast. I went a little overboard. You want some?" Linda could see how sorry Erin was. And while she didn't condone her behavior and she wasn't ready to be friends with her, she was still family. And family comes first. Linda would be the bigger person and make sure that the Reagan family stayed intact.

"Are you sure?" Erin asked not knowing if it was a good idea or not.

"Yeah. Come and eat." Linda nodded her head. Erin walked into the Reagan house still unsure of what to say. She joined Danny and Linda in the kitchen sitting next to Danny while Linda flipped pancakes. Linda placed a plate down for Erin and Danny, "Both of you eat up." Linda told them. She kissed Danny's cheek, "You okay?"

"I'm okay." Danny smiled warmly at his wife, "Sit down and eat too." He held out a bite of his pancake for her. Linda took the bite of food before kissing his lips, "Delicious." He grinned.

Linda sat beside her husband while Erin sat across from them. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as the three of them awkwardly ate breakfast together. Erin was almost giddy when her phone rang.

"Hello....this is she....yes....what?!...okay...I'll be right there." She hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?" Danny asked looking towards his sister.

"The hospital is pressing fraud charges because I signed Linda's name." Erin rinsed her plate in the sink.

"They don't need Linda to do that?" Danny asked.

"No. Because the legal team can press charges from the hospital, not from Linda." Erin explained as she put her plate in the dishwasher.

"So what happens now?" Danny wondered.

"If they win the case I lose my legal degree, my job, possibly jail time, a fine, who knows. Could be a slap on the wrist, could be jail. I have to go." Erin quikly ran out of the house to get to the courthouse hoping there was something she could do to save herself.

Linda looked over at her husband, "I thought pressing charges but just couldn't. She's still family. And we've always put family first."

Danny slid his arms around his wife, "I'm glad I married such a smart, good hearted woman. You're amazing. Erin should be jealous of you. Because you're nothing short of perfect." Danny kissed his wife sweetly.

"Oh, Danny." Linda felt like crying. She knew a day would come when he wouldn't be able to say these things to her anymore. A day would come when Danny wouldn't be able to hold her or kiss her. A day would come when she was desperate for her husband but he wouldn't be there. She was so thankful that day wasn't today. Linda clung to Danny as her mind tried to sort out how her heart was feeling, "I'm so thankful you're here."

Danny squeezed her tightly, "Me too." He said honestly. Danny and Linda spent the rest of their morning with each other. Linda desperate for physical contact for as long as they could maintain it. Danny happy to oblige and allow his wife to sort through her feelings however she needed to. He was just as needy to feel her in his arms. He couldn't imagine the terror she felt when she had to say goodbye. He prayed it would never happen again. He couldn't do that to her again. He wouldn't do that to her again.


	15. Chapter 15

The day slowly passed with Linda and Danny spending most of it cuddling on the couch or upstairs in bed when Danny's pain medication made him sleepy. While Danny slept Linda sat beside him in bed. She watched over him while he slept. The medications he was on forcing him to sleep off and on all day. Linda was sure to keep track of his vitals as he slept. It was almost as if she was on autopilot. It wasn't until she was counting his heart rate that she realized what she'd been doing the past half hour. Linda pulled her knees to her chest. Danny had come so close to death. Linda had never experienced such a scare in her life. Linda pressed a kiss to Danny's forehead as he slept beside her, "I love you so much." She whispered, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Okay?" She kissed his cheek before getting out of bed. Linda took one last look at her husband before quietly going downstairs. The kids would be home soon and she needed to hug her children. Linda walked into the living room to see Frank pacing back and forth he was on the phone with someone who clearly didn't want to be on the receiving end of the conversation.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?!" He yelled into the phone, "I know what happened! I was there!" Linda wondered what got Frank so mad, "This is my family you're messing with!" Frank growled as he hung up the phone.

"You okay?" Linda asked gently.

"Is Danny awake?" Frank asked.

Linda shook her head, "The pain medication keeps knocking him out. He doesn't like taking it but I told him he doesn't have an option. I will absolutely ground it into his food if he doesn't just take the pills." Linda grinned as Frank laughed at her, "It's like that show "Wive's with Knives" only I'm not trying to poison him, he just needs to take his medication." Linda joked.

"When he was little, Mary used to make him take medicine by letting him have a spoonful of honey if he took the medicine." Frank grinned.

Linda sat on the couch across from Frank, "How are you, Frank?" She asked. Frank had been concerned for everyone but Linda wasn't sure if anyone was concerned for Frank.

"I'm glad Danny's okay." Frank smiled, "How long do you think he's out for?"

"Another hour or two probably." Linda said, "What's going on Frank?"

"I have news. About Ethan Brooks and Erin. I wanted to tell both of you at the same time." Frank said.

"What's happening with Erin?" Linda wondered what happened after Erin rushed out that morning.

"She's being suspended. She can't practice law for eight months and she is being fined ten thousand dollars plus double of all the legal fees." Frank told her, "If you decide to press charges she could face time in prison."

"I'm not pressing charges. I think she's learned her lesson and I don't want to continue this any longer than we already have. It's time to be done with it." Linda sighed, "I have other things to worry about. My son is getting married. I have a grandson. I have three small children. A husband that is still seriously hurt. I don't have time to press charges. She's family. Her actions were wrong and she should have known better but she's still family."

"That's very big of you." Frank commented.

"My mind is more worried about Danny than Erin." Linda said honestly.

"How's he doing?" Frank asked.

"I think he's okay. The kids are due home soon and I don't want him to push himself to play with them. I think we might do a family movie after dinner. We can spend time together and everyone will be calm." Linda smiled, "Want to join in?"

"I'll let you two enjoy the evening with the kids." Frank said, "But thanks for the invitation. I think I'll stop by Erin's apartment to check on her."

"Do you think it's wrong of me to still be mad at her?" Linda wondered what Frank's thoughts were.

"I think that you need to do what's best for you and your family, regardless of anyone else. Your family comes first." Frank told her, "Erin is a big girl. She'll get over it."

"What was that other thing you wanted to talk about? Something happens with the guy that took Danny?" Linda asked praying everything would be alright.

Frank sighed, "I'd rather tell both of you together."

"You can." Danny slowly walked down the steps.

"You're supposed to be in bed!" Linda yelled at him.

"And you weren't there when I rolled over so I came looking for you." Linda met Danny in the middle of the hall frowning as he winced in obvious pain.

Linda placed her hand on his chest and let him lean on her for support, "What's wrong?"

"A lot of stairs." Danny said, "Takes a lot of breathing. I'm okay." Linda stayed by his side until they reached the couch. Danny put his arm around Linda's shoulders, "What's going on Dad?" He asked.

"Ethan Brooks has been arrested and is out of the hospital." Frank started.

"Good. When does trial start?" Danny asked.

"There won't be one. He's not mentally competent to stand trial. They are committing him to a psychiatric facility. He was determined to be schizophrenic and unmedicated. When or if he's able to go to trial then they can press criminal charges. But until then..." Frank was interrupted by Linda.

"Until then he gets away with almost killing Danny! He almost murdered a cop! He held him hostage! He beat his wife! How is that justice!?" Linda fumed with anger.

Frank felt Linda's anger, "It's not justice but they can't force him to stand trial when he isn't capable..."

"Capable?! He's capable of a lot more than they think! He almost killed Danny! He almost killed my husband! And the NYPD is just going to stand back and let one of their own almost die and nothing happens to the guy?!" Linda stood from the couch and started pacing.

"Dad, there's nothing we can do?" Danny asked.

"I'm sorry. Nothing we can say or do will help. Unless he is mentally competent." Frank said.

"This isn't fair!" Linda yelled in anger.

"I know." Frank said, "I wish there was something I could do."

"What's going to stop him from doing this again!? If he gets on the right medication?! Will he be able to be released?!" Linda's blood ran hot while tears ran down her cheeks. Her emotions erupting like a volcano in front of her husband and father-in-law, "How is this acceptable!? Danny puts his life on the line every single day! He almost dies! And there's no justice for any of it?! There's no way to put the sick psycho that tried to kill him behind bars?! How is that okay?!"

Danny walked to where Linda was pacing, "He won't get out." Danny felt the same rage inside but tried to keep a lid on it. Right now Linda was breaking and Danny had to do his best to hold her together.

"You don't know that Danny! You don't know what will happen when you go back to work! You don't know if the next time will be the last time! You don't know what psychotic monster will be next! You don't know if someone is going to come after you after you arrest them! And this is what happens when someone almost kills you?! They get away with it?!" Linda shook from head to toe in anger.

"Linda." Danny tried to calm her down.

"What if nothing ever works and he stays this way forever?! Then what?! He just gets away with it?! What if...." Linda's voice cracked, "What if he'd killed you?! Would they still be okay letting him walk on it?!"

"No one is letting him walk." Frank said watching Linda lose her composure.

"Yes! They are! He's not stable so let's give him medication and let him get away with it! That's basically what's happening!" Linda shook her head, "And in the meantime, while we hope he is able to stand trial one day, Danny's going to go back out there and possibly get hurt again or die from some other person!"

"That's not going to happen." Danny tried to reassure his wife.

"You don't know that!" Linda yelled.

"No, I don't know it for a fact. But I can be sure to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen." Danny said.

"And what happens when you're wrong?! What happens when someone hurts you again?! How am I supposed to say goodbye to you?! How am I supposed to live without you?! How could you get hurt like this?! How could you put yourself in that position to almost die!? Don't you see how much I love you?! How much I need you!? How much the kids need you?! Don't you see how you hold the family together?! How could you almost leave us?! Almost leave me?!" Linda's anger with Danny finally rearing its head. She wasn't exactly mad _at_ Danny. She was mad at the whole situation. She was mad at herself. She was mad at Ethan Brooks. At the NYPD for not protecting Danny or getting to him quicker. She was mad at the lawyers who worked out a deal with Ethan. She was mad at Danny for almost dying. Her anger was partially irrational however she couldn't stop it. She needed to be mad. The second stage of grief finally settling in. Denial had stuck around for so long that anger was Linda's second stage, "I've spent my life with you! How could I ever move on from that?!" Linda covered her face in her hands as she broke down sobbing. Danny wrapped his arms around Linda holding her tightly against his chest.

"You're not going to lose me. I promise. I'm here. I'm right here. I'm going to be just fine. I promise. It's okay, Linda. It's going to be okay." Danny's emotions rising as he held Linda in his arms, "I'll always come home to you. I'll always be there for you and our children. It's okay Linda. He's not going to get away with this. He won't." Danny rubbed Linda's back, "It's okay Baby. It's going to be okay. You'll see. I'm going to get a summer off to be with you and the kids. And when I go back to work, I'm going to do everything in my power to come home to you after every tour. I love you, Linda. I'm going to be okay." Danny could feel his wife's tears soaking through his shirt as she lost the last bit of control she'd had over herself, "Let it out. It's okay." He soothed gently. Danny slowly ran fingers through her hair, up and down her back, hoping that she'd be able to calm down. He could feel her body shaking with each sob. Her shallow breathing quicken as she cried, "I'm alright. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise as long as I'm breathing, I'll fight for our family. For our children and grandchildren. For us. For you. I'll never stop fighting for you. Thoughts of you were the only thing that pulled me through in that motel room. The thought of never seeing you again was so hard to deal with. I can't imagine what you went through. I swear Linda, I'll make sure it won't happen again. You are the most important person in my life. And I never want to hurt you." Danny said softly.

"You don't know what's going to happen next time you go to work." Linda shook her head.

"And I don't know if you will get into a car accident when I'm not around. But we can't live with fear holding us back. We have to push forward." Danny said softly, "I'm breathing, I'm standing, I'm walking, I have no lasting brain injuries. My heart is beating and my lungs are working. My body is functioning properly. I'm going to heal from this. I'm going to be alright. I promise. I'm going to be okay. Mostly because I have you and our children to be okay for. I have you and our children to survive for. I have you and our children to think about before I do anything that could put me in a precarious situation." Danny squeezed Linda in his embrace, "I love our children. Our grandson. I love our family. I love you. Honey, I'm not going anywhere." Danny kissed the top of her head, "It's not fair that Ethan can cut a deal so quickly with this because he's mentally ill. But once he's on medication he will stand trial and pay for what he did to our family. To me. To you. To us. He won't get away with this. I promise."

"I love you." Linda cried into his chest. She closed her eyes as his heartbeat thumped soothingly under her ear.

"I love you." Danny held her tight guiding them back to the couch where she'd eventually dry her eyes curled into his side. Frank looked on at Danny and Linda wishing he could do more to help them get through this. Wishing he had a better answer for them. Linda was right. It wasn't fair. But Frank wasn't sure he could do anything. He had to find a way to make Ethan pay for what he did to Danny. He didn't just hurt a top-notch detective. He hurt a Reagan. And Reagan's never backed down from a fight. No matter what the cost. Frank left Linda and Danny alone while he made a few phone calls hoping to find a way to help his son and daughter-in-law find the justice they deserved.


	16. Chapter 16

Days shifted to weeks, as they passed with Danny and Linda still reeling from the events. Sean and Jack's birthday's passed with the family staying out late to watch the fireworks for the Fourth of July. Danny was healing but his guilt grew with each day. Linda never strayed far from him. The kids had become accustomed to being home with Mommy and Daddy during the day. Danny tried to help out as much as he could but until he healed more, he couldn't lift and carry any of the children. Even Charlie was too big to be carried around by his Grandfather. Frank returned to work like normal as did the detail unit surround the Reagan house. Detective Beaz was on medical leave for another two weeks and would have a temporary partner assigned to her until Danny was back. Erin's eight-month leave was being called a 'personal leave of absence' instead of a suspension so as not to draw attention to it through the media. They'd have a field day if they knew ADA Reagan was suspended for forgery. She took the time to stay home with Nicky who was still on house arrest and attending the mandatory NA meetings. The rehab program she had been in was almost finished. The Reagan family had high hopes for the young girl who lost her way. While Erin had a long road ahead of her to reconnect with Linda and Danny, Sunday dinner's no longer turned into a battlefield. Talk around the table the last two Sunday's was directed to Jack and Kathleen, who had been welcome to dinner with open arms. Linda's birthday was in a few days and then just a short two weeks until their anniversary with Grace's birthday in between. Danny had mentioned something to Linda about getting away for a weekend but she didn't want him to stress about anything. She told him it was okay to just let the celebrations be at home with their family. She didn't need anything more than Danny and their family. Linda didn't realize that Danny had already started making plans despite her protests.

Linda was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Kathleen who hadn't stopped talking about the wedding while Jack watched ESPN with Frank and Danny.

"Oh, my mom and dad are coming to visit next weekend. They wanted to know if we could all get together. They'd love to meet you and Danny." Kathleen smiled.

"Yeah. That would be great." Linda nodded her head, "Is your mom excited about the wedding planning?"

"Kind-of. She's happy I'm happy but she eloped with my Dad. She's not really big on a big church wedding or anything. I grew up Catholic but they never really went to church every Sunday or anything. The fact that Jack and I want to get married in the church he has been going to every Sunday since a kid isn't really meaningful to her. But she wants to help me do whatever I want. She's not really against anything. She's neutral about it all. Plus they have seven daughters I think they are hoping more of us elope than not." Kathleen laughed, "I'm just hoping that they are really okay with it. They still have some reservations since Jack and I haven't been together a long time. My oldest sister, Sophia, got married after three years of dating. Molly has been dating the same guy for about five years but neither one of them really want to get married. And Violet has been seeing the same guy for a while now but my Dad doesn't like him."

"That's a lot of siblings." Linda smiled.

"Yeah. Sophia just turned thirty in May, Molly is twenty-five, I'm twenty-two, Violet is nineteen, Liz is gong to be sixteen at the end of August, Charlotte is thirteen and Hannah is eleven. It's a lot to keep track of. But I wouldn't trade my sisters for anything. I loved growing up with all of them." Kathleen grinned.

"That sounds like a house full. I have one sister and thought that was more than enough." Linda grinned.

"Yeah. I think with just family members we are already at a large wedding. Jack's got a lot of family members too." Kathleen commented.

"That he does. But we are so excited to gain another." Linda hugged her soon to be daughter-in-law.

"I'm glad. I was really nervous about that. You guys seem so close to each other and Danny seems really protective of everyone. It wasn't the best impression I made on him when I first met him." Kathleen said.

"Jack loves you. We love you. Anything you need, we're her for you just as we are for Jack." Linda told her.

"Thank you." Kathleen hugged Linda.

Linda embraced Kathleen, "Of course. You're family. And Reagan's always put family first."

After talking a bit more and learning how apprehensive Kathleen's parents were about the whole marriage Linda was determined to make dinner the following weekend a hit. She'd told Kathleen that they'd treat her parents, and her and Jack out to dinner Friday evening. Hopefully, everyone would have a good time and get along well. Linda hoped the night wouldn't be too much stress on Danny. Making it through the city was hard enough. Doing it while being injured might prove to be difficult.

That evening after Jack and Kathleen left Linda was bathing Grace and Faith while Danny put Sam to bed. Linda washed her girl's hair while they played in the bubbles with a few toys together. Once the girls were clean from the tub Linda wasn't surprised when they both chose nightgowns with tumble shorts underneath to wear to bed. Grace picked her cupcake nightgown while Faith picked Princess Ariel. Linda settled the girls in bed ready to switch kids with Danny so he could say goodnight to the girls while she said goodnight to Sam. Linda paused at Sam's doorway listening to Danny read a book to Sam.

"If the moon stays up until morning one day, or a ladybug lands and decides to stay, or a little bird sits at your window a while, it's because they're all hoping to see you smile. For never before in story or rhyme, not even once upon a time, has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again. Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born." Danny read softly. He placed the small book back on Sam's bookshelf, "Goodnight Sam. Daddy and Mommy love you so much. I promise. I'll never leave. I'll always be here. How could I leave you and your sisters and your brothers? How could I leave your Mommy? I'd miss all the fun in reading to you at bedtime. I'd miss seeing you smile. Seeing you grow up. I'll never miss all that. I promise." Danny kissed his son's head as he drifted off to sleep. Linda smiled as Danny walked out the door.

She wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him sweetly, "I love you." She said against his lips.

Danny smiled in surprise, "I love you." He pinned Linda against the wall and himself as they kissed.

"Did he fall asleep? She nodded her head to Sam's door.

"He's almost there. You can probably get out with a hug and kiss before he falls asleep." Danny said, "The girls?"

"Wide awake wanting Daddy to read them Each Peach Pear Plum." Linda grinned.

"Again?" Danny chuckled. They'd read that book three nights in a row with each girl taking turns finding the storybook characters.

"Have fun with that." Linda ducked out of his arms with a grin.

"I'd rather have fun with you." Danny mumbled.

"Two more weeks before you're cleared for that. They say it's still too strenuous and I don't need to explain what happened in the ER while we are both naked." Linda teased as she walked into Sam's room to say goodnight to her youngest son.

"Two weeks." Danny said to himself as he walked into the girls' bedroom. Two weeks until their anniversary. Two weeks until they'd hopefully clear him of injuries and let him hold his babies, start working out a little bit, start doing a few light strenuous activities. Danny missed being strong. He was so weak now. That's all that he felt lately. Weak. His fingers and wrist would hopefully be healed by two-week deadline. Just in time for their anniversary. Danny had been trying to plan a weekend away for him and Linda. If he could resume normal activities and his hand was better, Danny would be able to give her a perfect anniversary. The anniversary she deserved.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Linda woke up the morning of her birthday to an empty bed. She assumed Danny was taking care of the kids or had woken up before her. Linda took advantage of the quiet house. She took a long hot shower before changing and going downstairs. Linda noticed the kids weren't home which was abnormal since it wasn't a daycare day for them and Grace was out of school for the summer. Even Charlie wasn't over which was weird since Linda knew Sean worked today. Frank had left, presumably for work, before Linda woke up. Linda walked around the house noticing it was immaculate. The only sign of anyone being in the kitchen that morning was one of Charlie's sippy cups soaking in the sink. Linda called Danny's cell phone wondering what was going on.

"Hey, Babe." Danny answered.

"Hey. Where are you? Where are the kids?" Linda asked.

"Kids are with me. We had to get a few things done." Danny said trying not to reveal anything.

"Oh. You could have left them with me for the day. You can't really be moving around and lifting them still. The doctor said..." Linda started to say.

"I'm okay. Sean is with me. He took the day off and I  _can_ push a stroller with Charlie in it." Danny grinned, "Listen, I'm going to let you go. We've got a few things to do today."

"What time are you going to be home?" Linda asked.

"I wouldn't count on us until dinnertime. Love you." Danny said to his wife hoping she wouldn't be too upset when he surprised her.

"Love you." Linda sighed. She put the phone down on the counter wondering if he just forgot it was her birthday. After all, she'd told him not to make a big deal out of it this year. Linda wondered if it slipped his mind. With nothing to do at home and no one around Linda figured she'd run a few errands while she had no kids to tow around. Linda's first planned stop was to pick up diapers for Charlie who was close to finished with the box kept at his grandparents house. While she was there Linda picked out new t-shirt that she couldn't resist buying. It was light blue with dark blue stars and cursive handwriting that said ' _I love you to the moon and back_.' Linda added it to her cart she was pushing around. Linda grabbed two boxes of wipes, one for Charlie and one to split between Faith, Sam, and Grace. Linda swore by baby wipes from everything to wiping down cup holders in car seats to wiping kids sticky fingers and faces while out. She looked through the toy section for an idea for Grace's birthday. Linda had the party planned but was still looking for a few small gifts to give Grace. Linda stumbled upon a set of baby doll furniture that included a stroller, swing, car seat and playpen. Linda looked through her options before choosing the pink floral set. This would be perfect. Two more baby dolls made their way into the cart along with a few doll outfits. When Linda was done going through the departments of the store she checked out. After her stop at the store, Linda headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things they were out of at the house. A full cart of groceries later and Linda was yet again packing items in the car before heading home to unload.

Linda spent the rest of the morning relaxing at home. She wished Danny had stayed home with the kids or that the kids were at least home. She had called him again only to get a text back that said he was busy and he'd call her later. That was over an hour ago. Linda was surprised when her phone started to ring. She looked at the caller ID wondering what Maria could be calling her for.

"Hi, Maria." Linda answered.

"Hey, Linda. I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch? My friend bailed on me today and I've got this coupon for a lunch at this swanky new Italian restaurant in SoHo. Want to join me?" Beaz asked sounding awfully chipper over the phone.

"Sure." Linda smiled gratefully to have someone to do something with today, "Text me the address. I'll meet you there!" Linda grinned. The two hung up after agreeing upon a time. Linda happily got into her car and drove off. Her mind still on Danny and what he was up to today.

* * *

"Linda!" Beaz waved her over to their outdoor table, "It's good to see you!" The two hugged before taking their seats.

"How are you feeling?" Linda asked. She knew Beaz was going back to work soon. She sincerely hoped her husband's partner wasn't pushing herself.

"I'm good. I can't wait to get back to work. It's killing me to be home. I can only imagine how Danny is feeling." Beaz said.

"He's okay for now but I think when he gets the all clear in a few weeks to resume normal activities, and workout, he's going to start climbing walls. He doesn't do well when he can't work." Linda smiled, "I'm glad to see you doing so well. We were worried about you."

"Thanks. I'm going to be okay. It was scary but Danny had my back. He's a good partner." Beaz grinned.

"Yes, he is." Linda agreed.

Beaz laughed, "So what are you up to today? No kids today or did you leave them home with him?"

"Actually, Danny is out with Sean, Grace, Faith, Sam, and Charlie so I'm doing nothing today." Linda said, "I think he forgot it was my birthday."

"Wait, it's your birthday and he's not home right now?!" Beaz gasped. She already knew this when Danny called asking her to take Linda to lunch which Danny had already taken care of payment. But the key to any good surprise was faking it.

"No. He was gone before I got up. The kids too. He said he was busy and had a few things to do." Linda told Beaz.

"Things to do?! Is he serious? Does the man have a death with?" Beaz teased.

"Some days I wonder." Linda laughed.

"He can't even blame work for this one." Beaz shook her head.

"I know. But I'm hoping it just slipped his mind. I can't believe he'd just not care." Linda shrugged her shoulders, "I'll tease him about the senior moment later tonight."

"I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that comment." Beaz giggled.

The two women enjoyed a free meal while mercilessly teasing Danny, talking about how excited Linda was for Jack's wedding, Beaz spilling the beans about the guy she had started dating and Linda found out that if it wasn't for Danny pulling her back, Beaz quite possibly would have been killed by Ethan. Linda felt a mix of emotions towards her husband. She was proud of him knowing he saved his partner's life. She was also upset that Beaz hadn't been able to do the same for Danny this time. She'd had his back plenty of other times and Linda trusted Beaz to make sure Danny came home but it didn't stop the voice in her head that quietly wished Beaz had been able to do something for Danny's sake.

Linda invited Maria to the house for an afternoon of wine and chick flicks to which Beaz was completely on board with. Being stuck home while recuperating was making her just as desperate for social interaction as Linda was being home alone for just one day.

Linda wasn't surprised to see no car in the driveway when she pulled in. Maria parked her car on the road, walking in the house behind Linda.

"What the-" Linda gasped. The house had been filled with flowers and balloons. Linda turned a corner to walk into the living room only to be spooked by Danny standing there waiting for her, "What are you doing here?"

"Surprise!" Linda realized the room was full of Reagan family members. Kathleen and Jack stood near the doorway while Sean stood with Grace, Faith, Sam and Charlie near the couch. Danny stood next to Linda with an ear to ear grin. Erin and Nicky stood near Frank in the corner of the room. Linda's friends were scattered around the room. Beaz stood behind Linda with a knowing smile.

"Danny." Linda grinned.

"Did you really think I'd leave you home alone on your birthday?" He kissed his wife's lips, "Happy birthday Linda."

"I was so mad at you this morning." Linda playfully hit his shoulder.

"I know. That's why there are flowers too. The kids just wanted balloons but you sounded pretty perturbed on the phone." Danny smiled, "Have a nice lunch?" He asked.

"You knew about this?!" Linda asked Beaz.

"Partners at work, partners in crime. It just worked together so well." Beaz laughed.

"Oh my God." Linda shook her head, "I can't believe you did this."

"Mommy! Sit!" Grace bounced on the couch.

"Open!" Sam held up a large square package.

"C'mon Mommy!" Faith yelled at her.

Linda nodded her head, "Okay. Let's see what you got here." Linda carefully settled herself between children and her husband. She opened the package to reveal a small scrapbook. The front cover was tan and red wth black calligraphy that said, ' _you make the world a better place to be'_. Linda opened it up to see photos of her and Danny from the moment they met. The first ten pages were all Danny and Linda. On each page, a paragraph was written by Danny. Linda teared up at the first sentence of the first paragraph.  _If not for you. I wouldn't be alive_. Linda flipped through the pages reading the all the sweet words Danny wrote to her. She smiled as a copy of their wedding vows was printed on the same page as pictures from their wedding. Linda flipped to the next page to see it filled with Jack and her. On the opposite page of the pictures was a full letter written by Jack. He wrote about how much he loved his mother. How important she was to him. He thanked her for helping him through every challenge in his life. How he was a better man, a better person because his mother taught him to be better. The expectations set for him were higher because she knew he could reach them. Jack told his mother how her relationship with his father shaped how he wants to treat his wife. He thanked her for her unconditional love and support. He ended his letter telling her how he'd continue to make her proud of him every day he put on the blue uniform knowing that Reagan's help people. They protect people. They take care of each other.

The next page was a letter from Sean and pictures of him and his mom. Sean's letter was short but sweet. He told her how amazing it was to be able to tell her how he screwed up and gotten a girl pregnant. He told her how he admired her strength through all the darkness they'd had in their lives. Sean wrote about how he was thankful Charlie would grow up so close to his grandmother. How he could think of no one that he'd turn to for parenting advice before his mother. How she'd done her best in everything showing him that if he did his best, even if it didn't work out, it would be better than not trying at all. Sean ended his letter stating how grateful he was to have a mother like her and how lucky he was to be born a Reagan. He hoped that he'd be just as important to Charlie as she was to Sean.

Grace had drawn pictures on her page. Danny had taken pictures of Grace and Linda putting them on one page and Grace drew on the other one. It was a picture of Mommy and Grace standing outside the house on a sunny day with flowers in front of them. Grace had written ' _I love you Mommy!'_ across the bottom of the page.

Faith's page was filled with pictures and scribbles. She'd tried her best at writing ' _love you'_ on it but her messy little handwriting was barely legible. Linda smiled tracing over the squiggly letters.

Sam's page was also filled with pictures and coloring from one side to the next. Linda smiled seeing Danny's handwriting printed underneath Sam's. Sam was good at tracing letters but couldn't quite figure it out on his own yet.

Linda was stunned when the next pages contained letters from Frank, Jamie, Erin, and even Nicky. Linda wiped tears away as she read through them all, "You guys." Linda sighed happily, "This was amazing. Thank you so much." Linda kissed Faith, Sam, Grace, Charlie, Sean, and Jack, "Thank you. This is perfect." Linda kissed Danny last, "I can't believe everyone had such wonderful things to say."

"They were letters for you. Of course, they were wonderful." Danny smiled at his wife.

"There's just one more that didn't get put in yet." Kathleen handed Linda a folded up piece of paper.

Linda smiled. It was so sweet of Kathleen to write Linda one as well seeing as how she wasn't technically family yet. Soon enough, but Linda hadn't expected anything from her. Linda opened the letter and almost fainted, "Oh my God!" She looked up at Kathleen then to Jack, "Really?! Are you serious?!"

Kathleen nodded her head, "I found out a few days ago. We didn't plan this at all and it changes wedding plans drastically but yeah. It's true." She squeezed Jack's hand, "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God!" Linda hugged her future daughter-in-law, "Congratulations!"

"We wanted you to be the first to know." Jack told his parents.

"Congratulations!" Danny hugged Jack before swapping with Linda, "I'm so happy for you two!" Danny smiled wide.

"Jack." Sean slapped his brother, "How are we supposed to top that for Mom's birthday next year? You better make Kathleen pregnant again." He teased causing a laugh from everyone in the room.

"I'll see what I can do." Jack replied.

Linda could hardly believe it. This was quite possibly one of the best birthdays of her life. Jack and Kathleen were having a baby. Danny had made her the sweetest most heartfelt gift he'd ever given her. The black clouds that seemed to settle lately were kept at bay with the sunshine her family had created today. Linda listened to Kathleen chat about being pregnant and how excited she was to get married and have a kid. Danny stayed by Linda's side most of the day stealing sweet kisses when they thought no one was looking, whispering his love in her ear, even just holding her close for a moment together. He couldn't wait until their anniversary. He had almost everything ready. They were taking a miniature vacation to get away from all the stress they'd both been feeling lately. Danny needed some way to get rid of the guilt he still held knowing how he scared his wife was and she needed to let go of the fear that she'd lose him. They both needed some time away to spend just on each other.

 


	18. Chapter 18

The day before Linda and Danny's anniversary was his doctor appointment. Linda had dropped the kids at daycare so they wouldn't have to tag along to Danny's appointment. Hopefully, Danny would be able to take the brace off his wrist and splints from his fingers today. Linda also hoped the doctor would have some answers as to why Danny kept waking up in the middle of the night with chest pain. Last night was so bad Linda almost forced him to the ER. His breathing started to become uneven and shallow while his heart rate shot up. Linda wasn't quite sure what was going on. If she had to guess, it was a panic attack. But Danny denied it saying he was fine. It started with his chest hurting. Linda wasn't so sure that a nightmare didn't set it off. His face was red and he looked like he'd seen a ghost. After that Linda didn't catch much sleep. She was too busy worrying about Danny, it kept her up, as she kept checking on him throughout the night. 

Linda walked back into the house after dropping the kids off. Danny's appointment was set for the late morning, but the couple wanted to take advantage of the house to themselves for the first time in a while. About two weeks ago when Jack and Kathleen announced they were pregnant it seemed they were over for dinner almost every night. Which in turn made Sean stay for dinner when picking up Charlie. Kathleen had taken to Linda quickly. She confided that her parents weren't happy about her being pregnant. They weren't mad or pushing her away. But they didn't hide their disappointment and blame. Her parents had told her she was making a mistake marrying Jack so soon after meeting him and that now she was stuck with him because of the baby. Linda told Kathleen that hopefully her parents just needed to get over the shock. After Sean announced he was having a baby it took her and Danny some time to come to terms with it but they wouldn't change anything about the situation because if they did, they wouldn't have Charlie. Kathleen shrugged her shoulders and told Linda stories about her parents and how they weren't close to their kids. They loved them, they were there when their kids needed them but her oldest sister lived in Texas and hadn't been back home in over a year to see their parents. They talked over the phone but no one was really concerned with keeping a close connection with each other. Kathleen and Linda talked about how it was awkward at first to know that Jack spent every Sunday with his family from church to dinner and that he still went on family vacations with Danny and Linda and all the kids and grandkids but that she couldn't wait to be a part of such a close-knit family. It was different and exciting to her. Linda passed by the spare room they used for Charlie and anyone else who wanted to sleep over. She smiled knowing they'd have to put a second playpen in there. After all, it seemed Linda was never going to not have children at home. If it wasn't her own children it was their children. Linda wouldn't' have it any other way. 

Linda walked into her bedroom smiling when she saw Danny with his back turned while he fixed the belt on his pants. She stared at him as he put a shirt over his head and readjusted his pants. Linda walked up behind her husband with a smile on her face. As she went to slide her hands around his waist she gasped. Danny grabbed her wrist, hard, whirled around pulling her around the front of him and wrapped an arm around her neck with the other pinning her arms to her body and pushing her up against the wall.

"Danny!" Linda yelled. She didn't know what caused him to react like this but she knew something was wrong. 

Danny took a deep breath, "Linda?" He jumped back with his hands in the air, "Oh my God! Are you okay!?" He didn't know why he attacked her like that. 

Linda nodded her head. She took a deep breath, "Yeah. I'm okay."

"You scared the shit out of me." Danny stood still with his palms facing his wife. 

"It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry." Linda bit her bottom lip to keep from getting upset that Danny scared the Hell out of her. 

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you? I'm sorry. I just reacted." Danny kicked himself. How could he do that to his wife? 

"I'm sure. It's okay." Linda took Danny's good hand and squeezed tight, "You didn't hurt me." She placed a hand on his cheek, "You okay?" 

Danny swallowed the lump in his throat, "Yeah. I'm okay." He lied. Danny knew he wasn't okay. Not after almost attacking Linda. 

Linda saw the lie flash in his eyes but chose not to say anything abut it at the moment, "Okay." Linda pressed a kiss to Danny's lips, "You should finish getting ready if you want to make it to breakfast before your appointment." Linda kissed him again before leaving the room. She needed to breathe for a moment. Not talking about it felt like suffocating. Talking about it felt like hurting Danny. Either one wasn't a good option in Linda's eyes. 

Upstairs Danny was mad at himself. He could have seriously hurt Linda. All because he was lost in his own thoughts so when she touched him he reacted to a threat that hadn't been there. Danny prayed that by getting the brace off, he'd be able to forget about this whole incident.

* * *

Sitting in the doctor's office was the longest awkward silence Linda could imagine with Danny at her side. They didn't talk about what happened in the bedroom but neither one could stop thinking about it. Linda wondered if this was some type of anxiety or PTSD like when he came home from Iraq or something else while Danny's guilt ate at him from inside. When the doctor walked into the room Danny looked hopeful about his wrist and hand.

"Alright, Detective." The doctor smiled, "The hand looks good. We can take the splits and the brace off. Be careful lifting and twisting your wrist but it looks to be perfectly healed." He said. Danny sighed with relief as the brace and splits came off quickly. He flexed his fingers happy to have full function of his hand back again. The first thing Danny did was grabbed Linda's with the hand that was broken and kissed the back of her hand.

Linda squeezed it tight, "I love you." She smiled at him.

"Let's talk about your chest X-rays and the chest pain you're having. We took a look at both lungs. They look good. No puncture or anything that would cause shortness of breath. So we looked at your heart." He showed Danny and Linda the pictures fo Danny's ribcage, heart, and lungs, "And that looks fine too. I'd keep away from overexerting yourself but I'd say you can resume normal activities, lift your children, do every day lifting without much problem. Sit when you need to and don't do too much too fast." The doctor sat in his chair, "Now the symptoms you're describing to me. The shortness of breath, the heart rate skyrocketing, the night sweat, they point to something neurological. Have you seen anyone? Talked to the department psychiatrist at all?" The doctor asked thinking Danny was having nightmares and panic attacks which would be reasonable for anyone in his situation.

"I have to see the doc before I go back to duty but I'm fine." Danny grinned, "I'm better than fine." 

"You sure? Or are you just saying that?" The doctor smiled.

"I'm sure. I'm okay." Danny nodded his head. 

"In any case, I think I'm going to send you to see someone. If you know someone you like, that's fine, but I think you need to see someone. Even if you just talk about what happened. It's best to get it out while it's still a minor problem." The doctor told Danny, "I'm making this mandatory. It's going to your Sergeant. You have to see someone before going back to work and one appointment with the department psychiatrist isn't going to cut it.

"Copy that." Danny sighed knowing there was no way around it. Danny half listened to the rest of what to doctor said. His mind still replaying the morning's events. He could have hurt his wife. And while he didn't like talking to someone about his personal thoughts and feeling, he knew it helped Linda. It had even helped Danny and Linda together, more than once. He'd give this a real chance in the high hopes that even if it didn't fix everything, it would at least absolve the crushing guilt he felt every second he looked at his wife.

 


	19. Chapter 19

That evening after being treated to dinner and a pleasant surprise from Jack, Kathleen, and Sean who all told their parents they were taking Grace, Faith, and Sam to the house in Staten Island where the three of them could watch their siblings for the weekend. Since their parents anniversary was on a Saturday this year, everyone had the day off. Linda packed the kids each an overnight bag and was surprised to see Frank heading over there too. He explained that he thought they might need an extra hand and thought Danny and Linda might enjoy a weekend home alone.

Linda and Danny were sitting on the couch together watching a movie when Linda felt Danny tense up. She softly rubbed his arm up and down that was draped around her as they were curled up together. Linda frowned as Danny shifted to get up, "What's wrong?" She could tell something wasn't right.

"Did you hear that?" Danny asked.

Linda paused the movie and listened for a sound, "I don't hear anything."

"Are you sure?" Danny said quietly. His head snapped to the front door, "Don't move." He told her, "Stay here." Danny walked over to the liquor cabinet where one of his father's guns was hidden. Rarely was a Reagan without their weapon attached to them even when home but Frank had kept an extra under lock and key, ready should someone be caught off-guard. Danny loaded the gun, "I'll be right back."

Linda listened for the noise Danny seemed to have heard but didn't hear anything. She wondered if she missed a light or something in the window that Danny saw. The neighbors down the street had rowdy kids running around the other night while they had a party. A radio car was sent out, by Frank, to tell them to tone it down when it was still loud past nine at night. Linda figured that must be what Danny heard and classic Danny would be to clear the house before brushing it off. Linda thought about Danny out there with Franks gun. She better go make sure he doesn't shoot a kid who is trying to play a stupid prank. Linda walked out the front of the house, the same way Danny had gone. She didn't see him out front. Linda looked down the street. Not seeing anything she walked around to the back of the house noticing the neighbors cat in the yard, "Shoo!" She yelled at it to get off the trash cans. Linda still didn't see Danny. She walked in through the back door. When she reached the kitchen she heard him frantically looking for her.

"Linda?! LINDA!?" Danny yelled, "LINDA?!" He slammed the door open to the kitchen with Frank's gun still in his hands.

"Danny! I'm right here!" Linda yelled over top of him.

"LINDA! Thank God! Are you hurt? Are you okay?" Danny holstered his weapon.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure you didn't shoot the neighbor's pet or one of those kids down the street." Linda cupped his face with her hands, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I just heard something and then panicked a bit not seeing you in the living room. There's never a good memory that starts with me not knowing where you are." Danny hugged his wife tight brushing his fear off as concern. He didn't know why he was so scared something had happened to her. Maybe the doctor was right. Something was wrong with him.

* * *

That night Linda barely slept again. She watched Danny toss and turn. Call her name in his sleep. He pleaded with an unknown person for his life. Apologized to his family for giving up. Apologized to Linda for leaving her. Danny's words of love for her, almost made Linda start sobbing beside him. It wasn't until she saw him put a hand on his chest, where he'd been hit in the vest and his ribs broken, did she know what was going to happen next. As she predicted Danny sat up in bed gasping for air. Linda put her hand over his and her other arm around his waist holding him close but not constricting him.

"It's okay. You're alright. Breathe through it." Linda whispered. Danny listened to Linda's soft words in his ear as he tried to regulate his breathing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Danny had never felt so weak. He couldn't get past this. It was terrorizing him wherever he looked. Danny should be the one comforting Linda. Not the other way around, "Just a bad dream. I'm okay. Let's lay back down." Danny pulled Linda back down to bed, spooning up behind her.

"You okay?" Linda asked as he held her tightly.

"I'm okay. I didn't mean to wake you. Like I said, just a nightmare. Not a big deal." Danny kissed his wife's head, "Close your eyes." He hummed softly.

"You too, okay?" Linda wanted Danny to get more sleep tonight. She knew he hadn't been able to sleep well or hardly at all.

"I will." Danny pulled them together leaving no space between each other, "I love you, Linda." Danny said the one thing that made him always feel better.

"I love you.' Linda grinned, "Oh and it's after midnight. Happy Anniversary."

Danny propped himself up to kiss his wife's lips, "Happy Anniversary to you too." He smiled, "Not rest so I can pamper you and surprise you tomorrow."

"I'm so glad that twenty-four years ago I made the most intelligent decision of my life." Linda sighed, "The moment I said 'I do' I didn't realize it would make my life so much better. So much richer. So much more amazing. I'm so lucky to have you." Linda snuggled deep into Danny's embrace.

"I think I'm the one that's lucky." Danny said to her. Linda would have retorted back but her large yawn stopped her, "Close your eyes Honey. Get some rest." Danny said softly, "We both need some sleep." Linda nodded her head. Soon she was dreaming while Danny laid awake forcing himself not to sleep. He couldn't handle another nightmare and he wasn't going to show how weak he was to Linda. She needed a strong husband. Not one that got upset over a nightmare. Even if was one that left Linda's life in the balance. One where he had to watch her die in front of him while he could do nothing for her. Danny looked down at his sleeping wife praying the nightmares would be kept at bay with her in his arms.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Linda woke up a few hours later to an empty bed. She put her glasses on and frowned seeing a note stuck to her phone. 

_I'm sorry. I'm okay. I'll be home soon. I love you._ '

Linda wondered what happened. Her first thought went to Danny going to talk to Frank. Maybe after his nightmare last night he decided to talk to his father. She called Danny's phone hoping he'd answer. When it went to voicemail after the third call Linda was ready to call Frank. Danny picked up his phone. Always. And when he couldn't talk he texted. It wasn't normal for it to ring three times with no answer. Linda was just scrolling through her contact list for Frank when a text came through.

' ** _I'm okay. Busy right now. Love you._** '

Linda put her phone down not sure what to think. Danny had disappeared on their anniversary and wasn't answering his phone to talk to her. Linda knew something was wrong. She could feel it. Her stomach did flip=flops as she wondered what was going on with Danny. She prayed everything would be alright.

* * *

Danny slipped his phone back in his pocket after texting his wife. He knew he'd have to make this up to her. He'd have to beg her to forgive him for this. He hoped she'd understand when he told her what pushed him to get out of bed while she was asleep. Danny had a second nightmare last night. Only this time it wasn't just a nightmare. Danny woke up with his heart hammering in his chest. He felt like someone was crushing his lungs. He was shaking and sweating in fear. Danny was sitting up in bed holding a loaded gun pointed at their bedroom door. He'd dreamt someone had broken into the house and was trying to kill them. It was so real. Danny almost jumped out of his skin realizing how close he'd come to hurting himself or his wife. Danny knew he needed someone to help him. If he'd hurt Linda he'd never forgive himself. Danny went to the last person he'd ever thought he'd reach out to.

"Detective. She can see you know." The receptionist smiled at him.

"Thank you." Danny said as he walked into her office. Danny sat down on the couch where he'd sat so many times beside his wife.

"Hello, Danny." Dr. Bennet smiled warmly, "What brings you here today? And alone?"

"Somethings wrong Doc." Danny was ashamed to even be in the office. He hated that he didn't have another option.

"What's wrong? Linda?" Dr. Bennet wondered if Linda was having a problem but refusing to go see her.

"Linda's fine. She's great. She's amazing. Practically perfect. Nothing's wrong with her. She's...wonderful." Danny sighed, "It's me. I'm the problem."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"So you know how I was held hostage?" He reminded her. When he attended the last session with Linda, they'd told Dr. Bennet all about it. It had helped Linda to talk about how she was feeling and how scared she still was, "You know how I almost died?" Danny watched Dr. Bennet nod her head, "Well, I can't really sleep. I've been having nightmares. Linda swears they're panic attacks when I wake up. My heart is racing, My chest is feeling like it's being crushed. I'm waking up drenched in sweat. I....This isn't normal and I know that and I don't know who to ask for help. I can't let Linda see I'm this weak. She needs me to be strong." 

"Are you seeing or hearing things that aren't there? Seeing a threat that isn't actually there?" Dr. Bennet watched Danny shift uncomfortably, "You know that whatever you say stays between us. Even Linda doesn't get to know unless you want her to. The only exception is if you're a danger to yourself or others."

"Even if I think I might be a danger to Linda?" Danny asked, ashamed the words even came out his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Dr. Bennet carefully asked Danny to explain.

"I heard a noise and almost shot the neighbor's cat. And when Linda wasn't in the same spot as she was when I went outside to do a perimeter check I thought someone had gotten to her. That they took her. I woke up this morning with my gun in my hands because I had a nightmare that someone was trying to attack Linda and me inside our home." Danny confessed.

"Anything else?" Dr. Bennet sensed Danny was keeping something from her. She paused waiting for him to speak, "Do you have thoughts about hurting yourself?"

"No. God, no. Not at all." Danny sighed heavily, "Linda came up behind me. Like she's done a million other times before. I thought she was a perp. I pinned her against the wall and..." Danny frowned, "I didn't hurt her. She swore I didn't hurt her. And the second I saw her I let her go. I didn't hurt her. But I know I scared her. I saw the terror in her eyes. She was scared of me." Danny said feeling more guilty than ever, "I can't hurt her. I can't do that again. I can't scare her anymore. I've done enough of that. She's worried about me. She's scared of whenI go back to work if someone is going to hurt me or something will happen. She's already scared enough. I can't give her another reason to be afraid. I couldn't live with myself if she was hurt because of something I did. Because I thought she was a perp. I already hurt her emotionally and mentally by almost dying. I already hurt her just by being in that motel room. I can't imagine what she went through. I never want her in pain. I never want to hurt her. It's my fault she can't just be happy and enjoy life because in the back of her mind is always the thought of me not coming home to her. It's my job that scared her. Perps like the guy that held me in that room that terrify her. And I'm so ashamed I can't be the husband she deserves. The strong husband she loved. It's our wedding anniversary and I'm here spilling my guts about how I don't want to hurt her yet she's home alone." Danny shook his head, "Sometimes I don't even know why she stays with me."

"Has she told you any of those things?" Dr. Bennet asked wondering where this all came from.

"No. Not in those words. But I know that's how she feels." Danny was so sure of himself.

"Why do you think that?" Dr. Bennet asked him.

"Because she doesn't stop looking at me like I could break at any second. I can't be so weak. So pathetic. I've always been the one to protect her. To keep her safe." Danny sighed, "I can't even get cleared to go back to work."

"Danny you went through a lot. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. While you might be healing physically, what are you doing to heal mentally and emotionally? I know Marines aren't known for being emotional but what you're exhibiting is signs of PTSD. If I recall correctly it happened when you returned from Iraq as well. It's not weakness that causes these things. I have no doubt that should someone try to harm your family you'd be able to protect them. That if Linda said she was scared, you'd do everything in your power to make her feel safe. That's not weakness. It takes a strong person to look around and say something is wrong and I need help."

"I can't be that guy that cries out for help. I'm not that weak." Danny shook his head.

"I've never really liked that phrase. A cry for help." She said, "Think of it like this. You're trapped behind enemy lines for years. You're malnourished, you're injured, you have some crazy jungle virus that is making you hallucinate giant spiders, you have no gun, you're out of ammo, you've got nothing to help you. But you're still trying to survive. You're out there yelling _'I'm not dying out here! Give me a stick! Just a stick_!' A cry for help makes it sound like I'm supposed to pity you. But you don't need pity. This isn't pathetic. This is far from weak. This is the will to survive. That's how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species. With no hope, running on nothing, you're ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick if that's what it takes to get to safety. You came here this morning banging on my door saying ' _Hey staying alive is really hard right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don't care if it's a stick! Just give me a stick and I can stay alive!_ ' You're not crying out for help. You're asking for a stick. You're the one that's going to stay alive and cut through the jungle. All I'm going to do is hand you a stick." She paraphrased a well-known analogy for depression to fit Danny.

"What if Linda sees me and thinks I'm pathetic and weak?" Danny whispered the words he heard repeated in his head over and over.

"If there is one thing I've learned over the years seeing your wife and both of you together. It's that in her eyes, you'll always be her hero. You'll always be strong. You'll always be her protector. I know that because I see how she looks at you. How she talks about you. That's not going to change. The fact that you came here today. On your own, will mean so much to her. She doesn't just see you as physically strong. She sees you as strong emotionally and mentally so when you were physically hurt and you went to the doctor she still thought you were strong. And now it's time to take care of the mental trauma. The physical trauma is healing. Let's heal the rest of you." Dr. Bennet smiled.

"Okay." Danny nodded his head. He accepted that if he wanted to get better he'd have to deal with the nightmares. He prayed Linda would understand. He prayed Linda wouldn't look at him differently.

* * *

 

When the session was over Danny headed home. He stopped at the florist and the bakery to pick up treats for Linda. He hoped he didn't ruin their anniversary. He had originally planned for them to take a week away but seeing as how he couldn't sleep and Linda was probably beside herself by him disappearing he pushed the trip off a few months. They could go another time. Today, he needed to spend his day begging for her forgiveness. 

Danny walked into the house, looking around for his wife. Danny found Linda still in bed. She looked as if she'd been crying. His heart hurt to see her upset. He knew he did that to her. Danny walked around the bed kneeling down in front of her.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Danny." Linda wrapped him in her arms, "Are you okay?" She'd been worried something happened when Frank said no one's seen or heard from Danny all morning. 

"I'm okay. I'm sorry I left." He put the bakery box and flowers on her nightstand before climbing on top of the bed holding her in his arms, "I brought some of those muffins you like and some flowers."

"I noticed." Linda smiled, "I just needed you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't home this morning." He kicked himself.

"Where were you? Are you sure you're alright?" Linda looked up at her husband.

"Yeah. I needed to get a stick." He squeezed Linda tight. Later that day he'd explain everything but right now, the feeling of his wife in his arms was all he needed. Danny pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I love you so much, Linda."

"I love you too." Linda replied. She had no idea what Danny meant about getting a stick. She'd ask him about it later. He seemed to be alright. Linda sighed in content as Danny drew nonsense shapes across her back. It seemed that he needed her as much as she needed him. Linda was content with lying in bed with him for as long as it took for both of them to get up and move. As long as they were together. That's all she could ever want. After all. Twenty-four years ago today, was the day she married the love of her life. There wasn't a battle yet, that they hadn't overcome together.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Linda sat next to a nervous Kathleen at the restaurant. Danny was across from Linda with Jack beside him. They were waiting on Kathleen's parents to arrive. With the news of Kathleen's pregnancy, Jack and Kathleen decided to have a small wedding now before Kathleen's baby bump grew too much more. They both wanted to be married before she gave birth in the spring. Kathleen and Jack settled on a small church wedding at the Reagan's church then going to Danny and LInda's for dinner. Most of Kathleen's siblings would be there as well except for her oldest sister, Sofia, who had talked to Kathleen about not being able to come out from Texas. Especially since Jack and Kathleen were planning a big party after the baby was born to celebrate both the wedding and the baby. She'd come out for that but not the official wedding. However, she'd be there in spirit as their sister between the two of them, Molly, would facetime the whole thing so Sofia could at least watch. Labor day weekend offered the perfect opportunity for everyone to have the day off work and to be able to make the trip from Boston to NYC.

"Mom! Dad!" Kathleen smiled wide. She hugged both her parents as they walked over. 

"Hi, sweetie. How are you?" Her mother, Janet, said to her daughter.

"I'm good. You remember Jack's parents, Danny and Linda, right?" She said. They'd only met each other one other time.

"Of course. How are you?" Janet asked politely.

"We're doing well, thanks. How was your trip up here?" Linda smiled.

"I thought Boston traffic was bad. Nothing compared to traffic in New York." Kathleen's father, Scott, said, "How's the hand, Danny?" He asked. He'd heard about Danny's injuries through Kathleen when she said she was staying in New York instead of coming back to Boston after she'd planned a trip out there.

"A lot better. I've got three more weeks and then hopefully back on duty." Danny smiled. He knew Linda was worried about what would happen at the end of the three weeks. The truth was, Danny was probably more worried than she was. He was worried about her being hurt or scared until he got home. He didn't want to upset her. But he was also dying to get out of the house. Through regular visits with Dr. Bennet, he'd been able to talk to Linda which made his anxiety lower but he still had a hard time sleeping. Dr. Bennet talked about a sleep aid but Danny shook his head. He didn't want to have to depend on something to force him to sleep.

"Good to hear. I've heard good things about you on the force so I'm sure they are missing an asset while you heal up." Scott said to him.

"Are you two excited about the ceremony tomorrow?" Janet asked.

"Yeah. My mom and my aunt have been working all week getting food prepared and my grandpa is picking up the cake from a bakery that a friend of his owns so we got this really nice cake for free. The guy is just happy to make a Reagan wedding cake." Jack grinned.

"It's going to be so cute. Of course, it's not just plain white. It's NYPD blue too." Kathleen teased Jack.

"You'll learn quickly it's in the blood." Linda laughed.

"You chose this. More than once." Danny reminded his wife.

"Yeah. And if I recall correctly you said something the other night about it being a rite of passage into the Reagan family for your blood to run blue." Jack said to Kathleen.

"Oh honey, it is." Linda said to her, "I'm a transplant too. It happens when you don't expect it. You'll just wake up one morning a part of the NYPD family."

"It happens with State Police too." Janet grinned.

"Yes, well, you knew what you were getting into a bit more than Kathleen, I think. We dated for almost five years before getting engaged and it was almost two before we got married." Scott said to his wife, "But these young kids these days. Firing into life headfirst out of the cannon. Marriage, a baby. All before college is even finished and before you even have a job. That's a lot to slam into at once."

"Actually I have plans for what I'm going to do when I'm done with college." Jack smiled, "I'm going to one-up my brother. He planned on joining the academy when he graduates but I graduate this year so I'm going to join after I graduate and he will join the following year. I'm going to beat him to it."

"Really?!" Danny grinned proudly. He was happy that his oldest son was following in his footsteps, "Two out of five." He told Linda. When Sean had announced his plans for after college Linda said maybe it would skip Jack. Maybe the NYPD blue gene wouldn't touch every one of their kids. Danny told here there was no way that at least three of the kids wouldn't join up at some point.

"When did you decide this?" Linda asked.

"A couple nights ago. We were thinking about what to do after we graduate. My job now pays the bills I have but with a baby, it's going to cost more. We could stay in the apartment but I don't think I want to be that close to NYU with a baby at home. It's not really known for its quietness." Jack said, "Kathleen will have longer in school because of her degree so if I graduate, do the academy and get a good job, then we can afford a small apartment while she goes to school and I work."

"And I don't mind working something part-time if we need I just don't think I can do full-time with a baby and school. That might be too much." Kathleen said.

"Jack, Kathleen, you're more than welcome to stay at the house in Staten Island. Sean is there with Charlie but there is space for you all as well and that house is the family's not just Sean's." Linda reminded him, "And we have plenty of space so don't think you have to run out and figure it out the second you graduate. You guys always have a place to stay."

"Thanks. We'll keep it in mind." Jack said to his Mom.

"What will you do with the baby while you're in school if Jack isn't home?" Janet asked Kathleen.

"Daycare or we thought about asking Linda if she minded babysitting since she has her other grandchild, Jack's nephew, anyway during the day." Kathleen said.

"Yes." Linda answered the question, "I will babysit the same way I do Charlie. Monday and Wednesday are half-day daycare and the rest of the week is with me."

"You send him to daycare even when you're home?" Janet wondered. She'd never babysit. She didn't babysit the grandchildren she had now. Janet always felt that she wanted to be a grandma, not another parent. And babysitting occasionally was one thing but babysitting as daycare was another. Janet liked her free time. Once her girls were all grown she couldn't wait to have the house to herself when her husband was at work.

"Yeah. I take time for myself during the week plus it gives them some social interaction time." Linda nodded her head.

"Now, Sean is the single father right?" Scott asked.

"Yeah. We're really proud of him. And Jack. Both of them are doing well, stepping up the way a man should." Danny patted his son on the shoulder.

"Interesting. We tried to make sure our girls grew up with dignity and grace. It must be hard to see both your sons having to make tough life decisions at such a young age." Scott said somewhat smugly.

"My mom and dad got married when they graduated high school and had me the year after. They were able to do it at a younger age than I am." Jack grinned.

"That would explain it." Scott smiled.

"Explain what?" Danny wasn't sure if he should be offended or not. He knew Kathleen's father didn't like Jack much. And while he didn't want to cause a problem he also wasn't going to allow anyone to insult his son.

"Just the early ages of the kids making adult decisions. Although we tried to instill that in Kathleen but here we are." Scott shrugged his shoulders.

Linda watched as Danny took a deep breath. She slipped her sandal off her foot and rested it on Danny's knee under the table. She wordlessly gave him a look that made him drop the comment he had on the tip of his tongue. The rest of lunch was slightly awkward. Scott's displeasure of Jack and Kathleen's marriage and having a baby, becoming more noticeable as the meal wore on. Her mother, Janet sat on the sidelines letting her husband run his mouth. He wasn't disrespectful or rude in a way that Jack would have commented back. It was just the feeling everyone felt when Scott spoke. He was arrogant, full of himself, acted like his daughters were perfect at all times. But Danny kept his mouth shut. After all, Jack already knew his soon to be father-in-law wasn't his biggest fan. _Must run in the family._ Danny thought to himself. Linda's parents weren't fond of him when they got engaged either. Hell, they didn't even attend the wedding. Or support Linda's decision to marry Danny. They'd wanted her to stop seeing him when she came home late after senior prom. At least Kathleen's parents were here. And that effort should still be acknowledged. When they were done with lunch Danny gripped Scott's hand a little too firmly for a polite handshake as they went their separate ways. He made sure to remind himself that when he got home he needed to tell his children just how much he loved and supported them no matter what they decided to do in life.


	22. Chapter 22

The following day Linda and Danny sat in the church the Reagan's had attended for their whole lives and watched their oldest son get married. Danny held his wife around the waist with Sam and Faith in their laps. Charlie with Jamie as Sean stood proudly next to his brother. Erin and Nicky sat beside each other with Frank next to Erin and Grace excitedly next to the aisle so she could get the 'best picture ever' with her Fisher-Price camera. She was so excited to get to wear a pretty dress and see Kathleen wear her pretty dress too. On the other side sat Kathleen's family. Her four younger sisters, Hannah, Charlotte, Liz, and Violet sat together while Kathleen's sister, Molly, stood beside her with their oldest sister, Sophia, watching through the facetime phone call she was on. Kathleen's parents sat on either end of the four girls.

As Kathleen and Jack said their traditional vows, Danny held Linda a little tighter. She couldn't stop the tears that fell seeing her baby boy all grown up. Knowing that he was now a husband and a soon-to-be father. Danny sweetly kissed Linda's cheek as her tears continued to fall.

Linda leaned her head on Danny's shoulder and sighed heavily, "He's so big." She whispered.

Danny smiled and nodded his head squeezing her tighter. Danny's mind wandered to his own wedding. He wouldn't realize until years later how that was the single greatest decision he'd ever made.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to announce Mr. and Mrs. Jack Reagan." The Preist said with a smile. Linda put a hand over her mouth as she cried seeing Jack proudly standing next to his new wife. After posing for pictures with every combination possible of family members. Everyone headed back to the Reagan house to celebrate the happy couple.

The weather had cooperated nicely so they could spend it outdoors providing space for the little kids to run around and play. Linda had changed Sam, Faith, and Grace into play clothes when they got home so they wouldn't ruin their dresses and suit they wore for the ceremony. Grace had still wanted to wear a dress so Linda found a solid navy blue cable sweater dress and with a pair of striped navy blue and white tights that had hearts on the knees. Faith wore pink and brown polka dot leggings under her pink glitter skirt and a matching pink and brown polka dot shirt, while Sam wore a pair of dark jeans with a black shirt Linda knew Danny must have pulled out when she saw it. It had a white American flag on it with a thin blue line running through it. Linda laughed seeing Charlie wearing one of his many NYPD shirts and a pair of jeans. 

Linda was in the kitchen checking on the food when Danny walked next to her, "We officially have adult children." Danny sighed.

"I thought that happened when Charlie was born?" Linda laughed.

"Yeah, but he was still young. Now we have a grandson and a daughter-in-law with a grandkid on the way." Danny sipped the beer in his hands.

"I can't believe we watched him get married today." Linda smiled. She shifted a few things around in the oven. She flinched as the potholder slipped and she burnt her finger, "OW! That's hot!"

Danny put his beer down, "You okay?" He ran the tap water for her.

Linda put her hand under the running water, "I'm fine. Just hit my thumb on the side of the pan." She frowned.

"Yeah. That's in the oven. Be careful." Danny inspected her finger tip for himself. Once he was sure it was only a minor burn he pressed a kiss to it before handing her a band-aid and cream from the first aid kit they kept under the kitchen sink.

"Can you get that pan out?" She nodded her head to the open oven while she took care of her finger.

"Sure." Danny took the pan out and closed the oven, "Want me to carry this stuff out?"

"Yeah. We can start bringing food out and get the kids washed up." Linda took the salad bowl behind Danny to the table outside. Since it was so nice out they decided to eat outside at the picnic table. 

"Mommy!" Grace called her from her spot in Jack's arms. He was carrying her across the yard. Linda frowned, it looked like she had been crying.

"What happened?" She put her arms out for Grace.

"She saw a bee and got scared." Jack said.

"I didn't wanna go to the hospitatal." Grace sniffled.

Linda hugged Grace tight, "You don't have to go unless it stung you. I'm sure Jack shooed it away from you."

"Yeah but there's a nest growing in the tree in the corner of the yard. It's up high but it's pretty big." Jack told his mom, "I told Grandpa. He said he'd make sure it gets taken care of."

"We'll have to do something about it. For now, you just stay up front in the yard and be careful." Linda kissed her daughter's cheek, "C'mon. Let's go wash up for dinner." She noticed Kathleen sitting with her sister, Molly, while all the younger girls were on their phones as was their parents, "You want to go tell them dinner is ready?" Linda asked Jack.

Jack nodded his head, "Okay." Jack walked over to his in-laws and wife to let them know dinner was ready.

Danny helped set the table while Jamie and Sean made sure kids were clean and seated. Nicky and Erin brought food out from the kitchen while Frank watched everyone around him. The Artuso girls seemed much more interested in their electronics than participating in socializing. He sat at the head of the table waiting for everyone to sit down. Kathleen and Jack sat in the middle effectively splitting the table with her family on one side and his on the other. Grace wanted to sit next to Kathleen in her pretty dress so they let her pick her seat if she promised to be good so Kathleen could talk to the grown ups if she wanted to. Linda sat beside Jack with Danny on the other side of her. Faith and Sam sat between Danny and Jamie who was seated at the end of the table. Frank sat at the head of the table with Nicky then Erin on the other side. Sean and Charlie next. There was an empty spot then Kathleen's sister with her Mom and Dad at the corner on the end wanting space between them and Grace.

Frank cleared his throat, "I'd like to first thank everyone for coming today. Seeing my oldest grandson get married is something I'm forever grateful for. I am overwhelmingly happy to welcome Kathleen into the Reagan family. And I can't wait for my second great-grandchild to be born." Frank smiled, "I hope that God grants you as much love and peace in your marriage as I had with my wife. As your parents have in theirs. Love requires commitment. It speaks the truth. Love repels fear and offers grace. Love gives selflessly. It powerfully protects. Love lives forever. Don't forget that you should always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself. Not what's left over after you have given your best to everyone else." Frank said to his grandchildren. He folded his hands about pray when Danny stopped him.

"I have something I want to add to that." Danny looked at Jack and Kathleen, "You two are young, and in love, and expecting a baby and those are wonderful things. Jack, those are all things your mother and I did when we were young too. We didn't want to wait. We were so in love that we got married in a small ceremony much like you just had, straight out of high school. And that love between your mom and I has only grown over time. I pray to God that you two have just as strong and healthy of a marriage as your mom and I do. Because it's the best thing in my life. I can't even imagine not being married to your mom." Linda blushed as Danny rambled, "Marriage is a mutual commitment to love each other without conditions or an expiration date. It's loving each other when you're upset or mad at each other. It's choosing to fight for each other even when it's difficult. It's making a conscious decision every day to put your spouse above anyone and everything else. Family, friends, jobs, school, whatever it is. Your spouse has to come first. A marriage only works when both people are working together." Danny smiled, "Jack, your Great-Grandpa said something to your mom and me on our wedding day that I want to say to the two of you. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it special. And it will grow more beautiful and precious as time goes on." Danny repeated the words Henry Reagan once said, "When you have kids or just the one, don't forget that your children will learn what marriage should look like by watching you. Treat your spouse the way you want your kid's future spouse to treat them. Jack, God help you if you don't treat Kathleen the way you were brought up to treat your wife. Marriage is meant to keep people together. Not just when things are good. Particularly when they are not so good. That's why we take marriage  _vows_ , not wishes." Danny said seriously, "A real man never hurts a woman. Be very careful when you make your wife cry. God counts her tears. You find out the reason she's crying and fix it. If it's something you did or said or in any way caused her to cry, you never do that or say that again. You beg for her forgiveness and pray for God's forgiveness. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not his feet to be walked on and not from his head to be superior. But from his side. To be his equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved." Danny said to his children.

Linda grinned ear to ear hearing Danny talk about marriage. She knew his words meant more than just words. They were what he truly felt and how he treated their marriage. Sure things weren't perfect but nothing in life was perfect. Linda kissed her husband sweetly when he finished talking. She couldn't help the warm, happy, loved feeling she felt spreading through her. Linda held Danny's hand tight as Frank said the prayer before they ate. She barely let his hand go for the entirety of the meal. The Reagan's keeping conversation flowing while Kathleen's sisters stayed on their phones and her parents talked amongst themselves. Frank thought it odd to be so antisocial but they weren't being exceptionally rude so he let it go without saying a word.

"Do you all do this often? Everyone getting together?" Janet, Kathleen's mother, asked noticing how close everyone seemed to be.

"Every Sunday, holiday, birthday, anything worth celebrating." Linda said.

"Or just because everyone is around and we end up having a meal together." Danny said.

"It's happened more now that Dad moved in with Danny, Linda, and the kids. Sean's constantly over to pick up Charlie and Jack and Katleen have been over a lot lately. It's not hard for me, or Erin and Nicky to stop by either. We're all really close." Jamie grinned.

"That must be really hard to juggle with your jobs. I can't imagine having that much extra time with how busy I am at work." Scott commented.

"It can be but we have a really strong commitment to family." Frank said proudly, "We make sure we always put family first and there have been times when we make it for dinner then head back to work."

"I actually can't remember a dinner where a Reagan was unarmed even when not going back to work." Linda teased the whole family.

"Even Pop used to sit at the end of the table with a gun on him." Danny laughed.

"And it seems like soon, we'll have two more armed Reagans." Kathleen said talking about Jack and Sean.

"Think you'll be able to handle being on the job? Putting your life on the line? Not knowing if you'll see your family again?" Scott asked Jack.

"I grew up the son of a Marine, and a detective and with two uncles on the job. My grandfather is the police commissioner and my great-grandpa was the former commissioner. My aunt knows how to shoot and I already have my own gun, courtesy of my great-grandpa. My mom was a trauma nurse and somehow she handles everyone's problems and drama in the family with some type of superpower I can't even begin to imagine how she does it. So, I think I've grown up in a family that's prepared me for entering the academy which will prepare me for a job in blue." Jack said as respectfully as he could.

"It's not always easy. Or pretty." Scott said.

"No. But it's worth it." Jack replied.

"And this family couldn't be prouder to have more officers bear the Reagan name." Danny chimed in. The authority in his voice settling the comments from Kathleen's father.

"I for one am happy that Jack is pursuing something he loves to do." Kathleen supported her new husband, "Besides. It's not as if I didn't grow up with a badge and gun in the house."

"It's a little different when it becomes the family business." Scott replied. The table sat quietly for a moment, "What about if you get hurt? How are you going to take care of a wife and child if you're injured?"

"The same way my father did and my grandfather, and my great-grandfather taught me to. If you fall down you dust off your pants and get back up again. Accept that it's okay if plan A doesn't work. There are twenty-five other letters to go through and if you reach Z you start working on numbers. Failure isn't an option. You do your best, and next time you do better. You take care of your family, no matter the cost because that's what's the most important." Jack said without missing a beat.

"When did you get so smart and grown up?" Linda smiled at her son.

"Look at Jack. Adulting so hard." Sean teased his big brother.

"Shut up, Doofus." Jack laughed.

"And now they're twelve and eight again." Danny grinned.

The rest of dinner passed relatively quietly with the Reagan's again dominating the conversation while Kathleen's family stuck to themselves and their screens. Linda hoped Kathleen felt welcome and comfortable with her in-laws just as much as Linda did when she first married Danny. She prayed that Kathleen would one day be as close to Linda as she was with Mary. It was times like these that Linda realized just how much she missed her mother-in-law. Linda felt Danny squeeze her hand before pressing a kiss to the back of it. Despite all the uncertainty that would come when Danny returned to work deep down, Linda knew that this was the start to a bright new beginning for her family. A new future for them. That with each day that passed, each second, each beat of her heart, their family would only grow stronger together. That the love between her and Danny was unbreakable. And nothing and no one could ever tear them apart. That even hanging in the balance of life and death couldn't separate them. That no matter what, they'd fight until their last breath for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of this one. I've already got the next one lined up and ready to post the first chapter later tonight. :) Hope you all enjoyed this one. Lots of Danny whump in it but it was worth the happy ending. :) I'm excited to see what you think of the next story. Thank you SO SO SO SO much for all the comments and reviews!!! You guys are so amazing!!!! <3


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